Sometimes, it seems like the entire purpose of the Internet is for companies to push ludicrous products on an unsuspecting public in the name of “fashion,” and then for other companies like ours to make fun of those products. It’s especially true with clothes. We’ve told you about denim panties. We’ve told you about bridal Crocs. We’ve told you about crocheted underpants for men. We’ve told you about so many of these fashion disasters we couldn’t possibly list them all.
Well, here we go again. We’re sorry to tell you that the newest clothing item to make you sad inside is these lacey shorts.
Ever wish that you could make an entire garment out of doilies? Ever feel like your tan lines just weren’t weird enough? Ever want to make people think you’re exposing yourself in public but technically aren’t? Well, your prayers have been answered!
The shorts were first made for rapper Cazwell’s music video, “Loose Wrists.” They were manufactured by LA-based clothing company Hologram City, but luckily for all of us, they’re now available to the public. The “Lace Up” shorts go for just $35, but if that’s not enough for you, you can get an entire lacey ensemble for just $42.
Unfortunately, Hologram City doesn’t offer quite as many color options as pictured here. Right now you can only buy them in pastel pink, blue, and green.
The lacey outfits first went viral back in 2017, but Hologram City has since relaunched them and updated their collection with a few more options. Like this one-piece black lace jumpsuit, which is perfect for the next poolside funeral you get invited to.
And if the Lace Up collection isn’t quite your thing, Hologram City has plenty of other options made from lace’s first cousin: mesh! For instance, this mesh one-piece hoodie lets you dress up like a kinky wizard.
Or this mesh poncho. Unlike a normal poncho, which is designed to protect you from the weather, this one lets in all the weather!
Or the “Xriss Xross” mesh hoodie, which is perfect for your anyone who’s considering switching careers and becoming a Mortal Kombat character.
Or this futuristic mesh “Stripe Tee,” which would make for a great uniform if you’re starting a UFO cult.
Predictably, when Lace Ups were first announced, they were met with skepticism and outright laughter. Most people were not having any of it.
I could almost – ALMOST – understand standard Bermuda-type shorts w/ a lace overlay. But you can see the guys’ tighty whities thru these
— I’m a woman, and I’m mad as Hell (@nowhere_nh) June 1, 2017
Looks like they are wearing oversized doilies. https://t.co/PwS2WEXfMn
— christian barnes (@cbarnesrun) May 31, 2017
They look like a bunch of convict forced to wear lingerie by their cellmates !
— Dr Young Toyata AKA Karbaash artist (@medhikalash) May 30, 2017
Shockingly, there were a few people who were into the idea…
I would *love* to see my boyfriend in these! Especially with contrasting underwear? Hell yes. Pastels for all.
— ?Antifa Trash Panda? (@kittystryker) June 1, 2017
I wish my dude would show up at my home in this shit! We go have some mofo problems!!
— Joyce Andrews (@Joyce1913) June 2, 2017
There really is no accounting for taste. Clothing companies are gonna keep coming up with nonsensical items like this, and at least a few people will buy them.
So make sure you check back here when we tell you about the next one, which will probably be an edible spaghetti strap dress made with actual spaghetti. It’s going to happen sooner or later.