Depending on your point of view, we either live in a condiment renaissance, or a condiment nightmare. (I fall into the latter category.) In recent years, the public has apparently felt that the classic condiments–ketchup, mustard, and mayo–just aren’t cutting it. In response, companies have been coming up with new condiment flavors and varieties. Sometimes, this results in something wonderful, like spicy ketchup. Other times, they result in something nauseating, like Mayochup, which we told you about last year.
We could have lived in a world without Mayochup or anything else. But when Heinz ran a poll gauging public interest in the Frankenstein condiment, over 500,ooo people enthusiastically said they wanted it. And now, Heinz is doubling down with a new blended condiment for you to gag on. It’s called Kranch, and I’m truly sorry.
Yup, it’s just ketchup mixed with ranch. And Heinz is truly going for it, despite the fact that a) you can just mix those two things together yourself, and b) it’s gross. Kranch is being released along with two other condiment mashups, Mayomust:
People’s social media reactions to Kranch were divided. There were plenty of folks who wanted no part of it. Everything from the sauce to the name to the bottle’s label design came under fire.
On the other hand, plenty of people were excited to try it. Some even said they’ve been eating their own versions of kranch for years.
Based on the past success of Mayochup, and the support Kranch is already getting, it looks like the new hybrid condiment is here to stay. This is only going to encourage Heinz to keep on combining condiments. Here’s a speculative list of the upcoming sauces we’ll probably be dealing with soon:
Can’t wait for my next BBQ.