*Facepalm*. Something I did many times reading some of these AskReddit responses to the signs from the opposite sex. Take a look below and see if you have the same response I did.
1. Laundry Time
In college, a girl in a few of my classes asked if she could come over and do some laundry because the dorm washer/dryer were down, then maybe do some calculus while we were waiting. She came over, forgot her laundry basket, forgot all of her calculus books/notes, and didn’t really have a plan of why she was there; she suggested she could wash the clothes she was wearing, but all my clothes were too big to fit her while those were getting washed. So we played with my guinea pig for a while and tried both using my calc book before she ended up just going home.
Took me almost two years before a different girlfriend pointed out how dense I was.
2. Partners
In my teens I worked with two middle aged women who lived together and each referred to the other as her partner. I assumed they had an outside business together. About 5 years later I realized that they were (and still are) a couple. In my defence, I’m really, really dumb.
3. Just being friendly
In high school, guy gave me a dozen red roses and said, “These are for you. From me.” I thought he was just being friendly.
4. More important things to talk about.
When I was about 16, I was hanging out at my girlfriend-at-the-time’s place and she was all over me. Her Dad wasn’t home, so, just us. She snuggled up to me and told a story about how she was on a beach the previous day and saw a guy groping his partner. She even put my hand on her thigh as she did.
So, obviously, I just shrugged it all off and started talking about new insects I learned about that morning.
5. So innocent, so cute.
So, I went to a sleep away camp for the first time when I was 12. There was this girl there that I had my eye on, as she was a real cutie, but I was way too shy to approach her. At some point, we’re in the pool together, and her friend comes up to me and says “Hey, my friend told me she’s cold. Can you go warm her up?”
So I did. By getting out of the pool, and grabbing her a towel.
6. “Didn’t like horror movies”
My friend sucked my middle finger all the way down, while maintaining eye contact and invited me to go home with her to watch a horror movie very few moments later. I said I was going home because I didn’t like horror movies.
7. Dancing Fool
A girl asked me if I wanted to go inside and grind…. I just didn’t know what to say. Thought she was being friendly since we just danced for the past hour.
8. Hot Tubbin’
When I was in high school, I was with a group of friends, all of us in a hot tub. This really cute girl…wearing a string bikini… sat in my lap, put her arms around my neck, and within 5 minutes, everyone else left the hot tub to go inside.
What do I do? “Maybe we should go inside with everyone else.”
9. Snapchatting Error
Snapchatted me a photo of her laying in bed with the caption “I really want to cuddle.”
I just told her to use a pillow.
10. Coworker Crush
A coworker I had a big crush on. Invited me multiple times to go work out with him and to go to some parties, hugged me for no reason, told me that he’s ”really happy to see me” multiple times, jokingly grabbed my hips while he was sitting in front of me, played with my hands, smiled like a dork and tried to catch my eye when a coworker joked we should have sex.
I was so shy and anxious that I aborted all these signs, convinced myself it was just ”friendly”.
Now he has a girlfriend. And I look back and I’m just damn.
11. Could not be more explicit.
My best friend came over one day when my family wasn’t home. She dropped her bag and condom fell out. She said “oops” with a smirk.
Later that day we were watching a movie in bed and she told me “I bought new lingerie. Would you like to see?”. I — of course in the most kind manner — told her no. She got pissed at me and left the house. After about 2 days it hit me that she wanted sexy time.
RIP past me.
12. A different kind of sign
The time I went for walk in Poland. The map said it was a gentle green route, but I missed the all the warning and turning signs and accidentally got onto a serious hiking trail up in mountains.
Jeans, trainers and a T-shirt on, four hours later I finally encountered two other people, but they barely spoke English and were in full kit. I asked if there was a cafe nearby to get a drink, but it was miles away.
In fact, it was miles away back in Poland. I’d accidentally hiked my way into Slovakia.
13. Hindsight is 20/20.
Recently went through old text messages from the phone I had in high school. A girl I was attracted to sent me messages and photos that clearly show she was interested in me. I was completely clueless and never knew until now.
14. Happy ending.
This happened to me with my current girlfriend. She had been my crush for YEARS, right? Okay. I was (am) friends with her brother and that’s how I got to know her (we also attended the same high school). One day we met at a club and gave each other our number and started talking. She wasn’t getting my signals so after a few weeks we stopped talking. I was just happy to have been able to get to know her, so when things didn’t work out, I thought that would be the end of it. That was in January.
Flash forward to September, to her brother’s birthday.
We talked and talked the whole night, away from the rest of the party. It got very late and her brother tells me to stay and sleep there as some of our other friends would do. So I stayed. Everyone fell asleep in the couch except for her and I because we were playing FIFA on their Xbox. At one moment, she tells me: “Okay, one more match and I go to sleep.” We played one more match and she started another one. ‘Okay’-I thought – ‘she doesn’t want to go to sleep losing.’ After that, we played another one and another one, both started by her and meanwhile, she was asking me if I was single and that kind of stuff. Until she said: “Okay, I’ll go now. The couch is full! I hope you can find a spot where to sleep comfortably” and stayed there looking at me. I said: “Oh yeah, I’ll manage. Don’t worry and sleep well!” and started looking for some small place where to sleep. She turned and went up to her room.
In December of that year we started dating and once we were a couple some months after that, she told me that she had been waiting for me not only in the stairs but that she left her room’s door open for me to go in. Clearly, I didn’t and lost a dreamlike opportunity. But hey, we’ve been together for a year and a half now, so it all turned out great!
15. So many signals.
I vaguely knew this one girl for years but never talked to her. One day I added her on MySpace and we became friends right away and talked all day. We didn’t necessarily flirt with each other but we talked about sex and eventually she wanted us to start calling each other babe. I shut it down because it seemed weird since we weren’t a couple. We hung out at her house once and wrestled around in pitch black darkness and I ended up pinning her to the bed. We stayed in that position for a few seconds before I got up and said we should go back to the living room. Another time she DVR’d a movie and set it 30 minutes before start time and a Cinemax porno was on. She wanted us to watch it together but I left. She sent me pictures of her in her bra and panties and asked what I thought.
I told her the bra was too big.
16. ‘Oh crap, she was actually into me.’
I hung out regularly with this sorority girl (she was quite attractive). I knew she had a boyfriend so I didn’t really try anything. However, she always agreed to go on brunch dates & one-on-one hangouts with me. She typically paid for my food and she even brought me a cake she baked herself. She added me on Snapchat and sent me a lot of random stuff.
At some point, she to regularly ask me to do things with her.
For example, she’d say “Let’s go on a jog by the ocean.” Me: “I already went to the gym today, sorry.”
Her: “Let’s go exploring at night.” Me: “I’m tired. Maybe some other time.” Her: “Let’s study together.” Me: “I find studying alone more efficient.”
Oops, in retrospect this was completely obvious. Even more recently, a similar thing happened. I hung out with this girl every day. We’d go to the beach and talk until 2 AM. I slept over at her place probably 3 times every week. She’d talk to me about every part of her life. Recently, she started to randomly ignore me – and that’s when I was like “Oh crap, she was actually into me.”
17. Not just being nice.
Guy I used to go to school with was super nice. Thought he was just naturally like that. Bought me Starbucks without asking, liked to give me piggy back rides (I guess???), talked about his newest girlfriend a lot (good for him), was nostalgic about our past and so on and so forth. We once talked about who he wanted to bring to senior prom, and I gave a couple ideas which he shot all down. He brought up about how one teacher thought we were dating and I laughed at the idea of that. He said that I was cute and me, being super dense, said thanks and continued offering ideas. Now that I think about it, I may have missed some signs…
18. Big trunk.
I had this 1984 Nissan 200sx when I was in high school. Great car, had a HUGE hatchback. I had a friend I would drive to school fairly regularly, and she was friends with this straight up gorgeous girl. One day, my friend and her friend were catching a ride home from school. As we get out to my car, her hot friend looks me dead in the eye and says: “Woah, that trunk is huge! Two people could totally have sex back there!”.
“Huh, I guess so.”
19. Nap-time?
One of my fellow gay friends was over to hang out with me a year or so ago and he kept talking about my bed and how much he wanted to be in my bed… I just thought he was tired.
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