There are lots of men who think that the female reproductive system is strange and mysterious, but really that’s because they haven’t bothered to learn anything about it. And sure, Sex Ed can always be improved…but some of the stuff these guys get wrong is so basic and so easily Google-able that schools can only take part of the blame. But rather than inform themselves, some dudes are content to believe that periods are caused by an evil wizard that lives inside the uterus.
Think that’s hyperbole? Sadly, it’s really not. Recently, Twitter user @brownandbella asked women to share the craziest beliefs men have shared about women’s bodies…
Women, what is the dumbest thing a man ever said to you about sex, reproductive health, menstruation, etc? Reply with a comment below, no quote RTs.
Let’s laugh at these dummies together!
— Bey Phi Bey, Philly Chapter President. (@brownandbella) May 16, 2019
And here are 15 of the best (worst) responses. (via Bored Panda)
1. To be fair, his ex is the Easter Bunny
Heard one last weekend! He thought women literally expelled a small egg – roughly the size of a Cadbury’s Mini Egg – during every period.
— RM Hannigan (@RHanniganWrites) May 18, 2019
2. These are literally rocket scientists we’re talking about.
Famous story from astronaut Sally Ride, NASA dudes had no clue how many feminine hygiene products she might need for < a month in space, they gave her 100 ?
— “Instigator” Smith, comrade (@JennS79) May 18, 2019
3. It’s a period, not an ellipsis.
Someone I was dating asked me if I could reschedule my period so it didn’t coincide with his birthday.
We did not make it to his birthday.
— #YouKnowMe (@Jillhopkins) May 16, 2019
4. For some reason, he’s never been able to test this theory.
I knew a guy who once, with great conviction, explained how after a woman has had intercourse with a man, her “vaginal cavity” form fits to his penis and if she ever cheats on that man, he will know because her vagina will no longer have that same “form fit feeling”. ?? I…
— Mennell (@egyptiancotn) May 18, 2019
5. I confuse women with werewolves all the time, too.
A guy in his 20s thought that every women had her period at the EXACT SAME TIME. Because of the moon.
— Regina Griffin (@Regina_Griffin) May 16, 2019
6. Next, you’ll tell me talking frogs don’t drink Budweiser.
my guy pals in high school once asked me if i didn’t mind my period bc it was blue, my favorite color – they actually thought the liquid used in tampon and pad commercials was “real period”
— jenn (@jennschiffer) May 18, 2019
7. Maybe some day they will invent a cordless baby.
My husband thought they disconnected the umbilical cord from the baby and put it back inside. Like the hose you use to inflate tires.
— Joan Carol (@psychomama) May 16, 2019
8. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 156 times, shame on…still me.
My husband of almost 13 years says “Again?!” Every time I start my period.
Yes. Again. I’m sorry I don’t have them paid off yet. Spoiler alert, it’s gonna happen next month too.
— Kristy (@KristyInCA) May 16, 2019
9. Tip: menstruation does not work the same way as a VCR.
Senior year of high school, several guys in my class were shocked to learn that periods don’t start and stop at will. They had no clue that periods don’t stop while we sleep and that cramps exist
Them: doesn’t that, like, suck?
Me: well, yeah, that’s the fucking point
— Emma (@earzeg) May 18, 2019
10. Don’t wake the baby!
In early pregnancy he told me.. I can’t have sex with you anymore as I’m scared I will hit the baby in the head and damage it. ?Let’s just say His penis was not of a size to damage anything.
— MyChildAndIHaveARightToBeSafe (@MyChildAndIHav1) May 18, 2019
11. Where do we even start with this one?
I dated a 21 year old who did not realize that menstruation involved bleeding. He asked me how girls know when their period ends, and when I said “the bleeding stops.” He screamed “YOU BLEED???” and recoiled in horror.
— Victoria Marini (@LitAgentMarini) May 16, 2019
12. If that were true, I would’ve had two periods already today. (Damn you Carl’s Jr.)
i had a man tell me periods aren’t natural and it’s cause i eat meat.
— Skinleesi | Sallie Mae of Skin Care (@CruzanChoklate) May 16, 2019
13. Hmm, wonder why this couple didn’t make it.
I told my ex that I needed a tampon, and he asked me if I could just hold it till I got home.
He thought girls just peed out their periods.
— oddly sexy, BSW (@lupespace) May 16, 2019
14. This is exactly why we have Sex Ed.
In sophomore year health class, after the teacher reads aloud the sidebar on ovulation:
Him: “I don’t get it. How could she not know?”
Her: “Know what? Exactly when ovulation occurs?”
Him: “Yeah. Won’t she feel a draft?”
Him: “You know, when the egg falls out?”
— Genève (@bergerbell) May 16, 2019
15. And finally, a sweet one!
When I was 11 and he was 14, my brother asked me if periods happen on the weekends, too. When I said yes, he just shook his head and said “I’m sorry”
— ? Sabrina Granger ? (@Sabrina45X) May 16, 2019
h/t: Bored Panda