Eating at a restaurant is one of life’s great pleasures. For just a bit more money than you’d spend at home, you get to enjoy delicious food with good company. Most importantly, you do none of the work.
But as with most things in life, there’s a right way to eat out and there’s a wrong way. The right way is to treat everyone with respect, while realizing that you are not the only person in the world. The wrong way is to act like the fact you’re paying means you are literally royalty, and to treat the staff like your personal servants.
If you do, there’s a very good chance you’ll end up the subject of an annoyed server’s Worst Customer Ever story.
Recently, Twitter user Zu posted a shoutout to everyone who works in the restaurant industry, recognizing just how tough a job it is:
This prompted current and former servers to flood Zu’s feed with stories about their dumbest and most obnoxious customers. Most of these stories are simple recollections of encounters with difficult people. But in a few cases, the beleaguered server got the last laugh. (And not by spitting in the food!) Read below, and remember: the customer is always wrong.
1. Every time a server tricks a difficult customer, an angel gets its wings.
2. Why is there steak in my steak?!
3. To be fair, I can’t do math when I’m hungry, either.
4. “Moo,” said the coconut.
5. False start!
6. Beg your pardon, but my side dish was .0017 oz smaller than theirs.
7. Is this a restaurant or a hidden camera prank show?
8. His milkshake brings nobody to the yard.
9. Ms. Freeze
10. There are no stupid questions. Oh wait, yes there are.
11. Before we order, can you give us a statistical analysis of the menu?
12. It’s basically a polite form of robbery.
13. Excuse me, but I came here to eat, not to read.
14. Can I get some ice water without ice or water?
15. Sometimes, the punishment is worth it.