We’ve all taken our lumps in terms of insults during our lives.
Some of them hurt, some of them roll right off our backs.
But then there are some insults that are so oddly specific and weird that they can only be meant for one person.
A Twitter user brought up this phenomenon and started a thread.
Here’s the tweet that kicked the festivities off.
What’s the most hauntingly specific insult you’ve ever received? I once made a joke about Dennis Waterman’s dentures and a man wrote to tell me I was “obviously lonely”.
— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) March 17, 2020
Let’s look at the results.
1. Well, that’s not nice.
I stood up on the school bus and a fifth former shouted out “sit the fuck down, moonface.”
— Matthew Holness (@MrHolness) March 17, 2020
2. Just one cheek.
A boy at school started calling me “Monobutt” as he decided I looked like I had one solitary butt cheek.
— Jim Field Smith (@jimfieldsmith) March 17, 2020
3. Too bad about your face…
In my leaver’s book from senior school, a boy called Andrew wrote, “Nice legs, shame about the face.”
— Julia Raeside (@JNRaeside) March 17, 2020
4. Nothing magical about you.
A woman I had a very messy half-relationship with once told me ‘Angus, everyone falls in love with you until they work out that you’re not magic.’ https://t.co/HVqKZnElSF
— Angus Dunican (@AngusDunican) March 17, 2020
5. All about you.
Someone described my autobiography as being a bit ‘Me, me, me.’
— Sarah Millican (@SarahMillican75) March 17, 2020
6. Wasn’t a big fan.
Was once playing a gig and a drunk man shouted up “You’re having your fun, but what about us?”
— Lisa Carey (@msleedy) March 17, 2020
7. Hahaha. I like this one.
“Fucking statue!” shouted at me from a car, when I was standing still, reading a book.
— Nathaniel Tapley (@Natt) March 17, 2020
8. A blow to the ego.
I asked somebody out and was told that she’d “rather fuck a penguin”.
— Gary Bainbridge (@Gary_Bainbridge) March 17, 2020
9. How dare you eat apples.
“fucking apple eater” – from @MGElliott, while I was eating an apple
— Sarah Ditum (@sarahditum) March 17, 2020
10. You’re not a kid anymore.
A kid in the audience of a comedy show I was in yelled out, “Stop pretending you’re a child!” https://t.co/VpdtYWQrfF
— bechillcomedian (@bechillcomedian) March 17, 2020
11. Yikes. That hurts.
I got told I looked like an early stage piece of Guillermo del Toro concept art once. https://t.co/t9wrh2V2Vz
— Ariadne Griffin ? (@Ariadne_Griffin) March 17, 2020
12. Gee…thanks a lot.
“If you were in a photograph and there was nothing to show scale, you’d have quite a nice figure”
— LucyMangan (@LucyMangan) March 17, 2020
13. Get a life!
I once was chatting to someone in a pub thinking we were getting on well.
As we parted ways the person said, “Well have a nice life……….if you ever get one.”
?♂️??
— Jon S. Baird (@jonsbaird) March 17, 2020
Those insults were quite specific!
Have you ever had someone call you out about something very weird and specific?
If so, tell us about it in the comments, please!