Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about this before…don’t even think about starting with me!
What am I talking about, you’re wondering?
I’m referring to what your dog’s profile would look like on a dating website. You’re really gonna sit there and tell me you haven’t considered what you’d put on there? I bet some of you have even gone so far as to make up a mock profile already.
Listen, I’m here to tell you that it’s okay and that you’re not alone. These people are all thinking the exact same thing. So let’s check it out!
1. She’s new to this whole thing.
But I think she’ll be just fine.
Patricia 52 – divorced. Kids just gone off to uni – so time “to get herself out there”. Not used a webcam before. pic.twitter.com/t2WAHlZDez
— Tom Field (@TomField25) October 8, 2020
2. That is a handsome lad.
Quite a dapper dog!
Handsome lad, 11, will take you for a pint of stones and chips and gravy pic.twitter.com/9tdQXrpMLN
— Danielle Andrews (@DanielleAndrew8) October 8, 2020
3. A real gentleman.
Oh, Buddy, you’re gonna get a lot of dates.
Buddy – Old fashioned gentleman. Likes walks (not in the rain), removing food from the bowl to eat off the floor and chasing a ball once then not giving it back. pic.twitter.com/0y5bIz2rKG
— Andrew Jones (@drewjones03) October 7, 2020
4. A special dog.
We wish you luck!
“Just looking for someone special to love me as I am” pic.twitter.com/jNArDYxT1v
— Perri (@perrigame) October 7, 2020
5. What do you think of Milo?
Let’s get the lowdown.
Milo. Loves: the outdoors, good food, chasing squirrels, bubble wrap.
Dislikes: having nails clipped, that dog down the road, early mornings. pic.twitter.com/NWtNXzZlwT
— 👻💀CathAaaarrghtic☠👻 (@MumbrianSpinner) October 7, 2020
6. Loves to eat!
What else do you really need?
Fergus, aged 6. Loves all mammals. Suspicious of birds. Loves to swim, run, walk but most of all to eat. pic.twitter.com/pZQMD2YHf4
— John (@JWCChristiansen) October 7, 2020
7. Used to be a little bit slimmer.
But still a handsome beast.
About 3 years younger. Slimmer. And with “settle down with me beside the fire” eyes. Handsome beast he is pic.twitter.com/RevFmUxH1E
— Chris Evans (@cmevuk) October 7, 2020
8. How can you resist her?!?!
Just a country girl at heart.
Country girl who likes adventure 🐶 pic.twitter.com/BL4IW86SLq
— David Willerton (@DavidWillerton) October 7, 2020
9. Looking for love.
Hopefully in all the RIGHT places.
“Looking for someone to love with all my heart and soul. Happy with friendship or romance, just want to spread love xx Hope you like my profile. Love, Lula” pic.twitter.com/m7Prdkw5dA
— Perri (@perrigame) October 7, 2020
10. Might have some baggage.
But still, pretty cute…
Rexie, 7. Petite strawberry blonde. Likes long walks and also being carried. How can I say “multiple personality disorder” without sounding mental? pic.twitter.com/yhnTZXPCjg
— Liz (fearlessly but with common sense) (@ejp72) October 7, 2020
11. Nice and simple.
That’s all he’s looking for.
Hey gurl wanna wrestle? pic.twitter.com/EMhMmCxASe
— alayne donka (@DonkaAlayne) October 8, 2020
12. No false advertising.
Let’s be honest…
She might as well be honest and show that winter hair growth 😂😂😂 no point in false advertising pic.twitter.com/h5Wm3Ijo9q
— kate 🥂💕 (@pourmeavino) October 7, 2020
13. Meet Walter.
Get to know him!
This is Walter. He loves lying in the sun, D’Angelos cheeseburgers, Teddy Grahams, & anything dairy. His exceptional talent is in trying to urinate on everything. Upside is he’s very well hung & he’s not lying about that-downside is he’s terrified of all dogs and prefers people. pic.twitter.com/Y9ieLQuy5L
— Paranoid Freak (@ParanoidFreek) October 13, 2020
Those are great!
Okay, now it’s your turn.
In the comments, tell us what you think YOUR dog’s dating profile would look like.
We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks!