One time when I was in high school, a few friends and I went to dine in at the local McDonald’s after school.
After we got our table and our food, I excused myself to go wash my hands in the bathroom. As I walked out, hands very clean, all my friends at the table started laughing hysterically at me.
What had I done? Was my fly down? They continued to laugh until I looked at the door behind me and realized I’d just used the women’s restroom and had absolutely no idea.
Do you wanna read some more embarrassing true stories? Let’s get it on!
1. Did she need that bag?
Hey, it’s a totally normal question to ask.
at Dick’s, it is a habit of mine to ask customers if they want their items in a bag after they check out.
today, a woman came up to the register with 2 kayaks to buy.
after ringing them up, i looked her dead in the eye and said “would you like these in a bag?”
— sav (@s_rumer18) May 28, 2018
2. Hahahaha. Wow. Sorry I missed this.
No, not like that!
I was at the airport and the TSA agent told me to scan my license face down, but I just heard “Scan your face down” so I put my face on the scanner and waited. I wish this was a joke but no, it happened and the TSA guy could not stop laughing and now I have to go into witsec. pic.twitter.com/PmXikadxTg
— Sendsnacksplz (@sendsnacksplz) January 19, 2020
3. I love you…
Oh, sorry about that.
The elevator doors opened up and a guy walked into the elevator. It was just he and I in there and he said, "I love you"
I'm not rude so I said "I love you too"
He gave me a weird look and pointed at his bluetooth.#Bluetooth
— Rob Perkins (@oxymento) November 28, 2019
4. Dating sure is rough.
Take it easy on the vodka, people!
My roommate went on a bumble date and was nervous so decided to pound shots in her car once she got to the place they were meeting and the guy was parked next to her and watched her chug vodka for 5 minutes.
Dating is rough.
— Syd (@s_kerekes) December 21, 2017
5. Who the hell are you.
That’s pretty embarrassing.
I am at a food truck and this guy walks up and says ”I’ll have my usual” and the guy working says “I don’t know who the hell you are.”
— Calen Santos (@calen___) January 29, 2019
6. I don’t know if he’ll be invited back.
Or if he made a very good impression…
My bf met my family for the first time & we we're playing catch phrase & his word was boner. Instead of skipping it like a normal person he said "something that Bridget gives me" right infront of my father
— B (@BenedictBridget) December 26, 2018
7. OH MY GOD. This is excellent.
Follow the leader!
When my sister in-law was a waitress in Canada, she was taking drink orders from a group of Americans. They each ordered a glass of red wine. She suggested they choose a LITRE instead. They spoke among themselves and one man put up his hand and said – “I’ll be the leader.”
— Christine (@guelphgirlchris) December 31, 2019
8. Hey, it was an honest mistake.
Don’t beat yourself up about it!
I blanked when I got to the counter at Starbucks and said “vodka soda” and she said “huh” and I said “huh” and then we stared at each other until I remembered I was there for coffee.
— Kayne not Kanye (@kaynecaraway) November 26, 2018
9. Honey, are you okay?!?!
This one is pretty bad.
8 years ago today I butt dialed my mom during sex… worst part wasnt even her finding out I was having sex it was that she thought I was somewhere dying in a ditch… Easily most embarrassing moments of my life, I’m glad timehop is here to remind me of it 🤟😅🤢
— Heidi (@_Heidiaustin_) July 2, 2018
10. I’ll keep the change.
Don’t even worry about it.
My worst date will always be the one where I paid for the cinema ticket and snacks and my date reached out for the change from the cashier and put it in his pocket.
— Helen Appiah-Ampofo (@FlavaFlavswife) August 12, 2019
11. You weren’t supposed to send that to him!
Oh no…this is not good.
I JUST ASKED SIRI IF A CERTAIN BOY WOULD EVER TEXT ME AND SHE SENT A TEXT SAYING WILL YOU EVER TEXT ME TO HIM. My funeral will be held at 8pm this Thursday.
— Ceci ✮ (@CeciMula) January 17, 2018
12. Hey, not so fast…
Maybe the guy at the auto shop loves you, too…
I just accidentally said "I love you" when hanging up with the auto shop guy, so I'm just going to leave my car there and buy a new one
— Travis (not labeled for individual sale) (@Prof_Hinkley) July 18, 2018
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