Parenting is tough, and we all have our moments. Have you ever said something to your kid that you regretted almost instantly?
These parents definitely did, so they told AskReddit all about it…
#1. The Bad Kids’ Road
One time, when my son was three and an absolute terror, I pointed down a road that we never go down and said, ‘That’s the road where the bad kids go.’
When he would misbehave I would say, ‘Do we need to go down the bad kids’ road?’ And, he would instantly get in line.
Until he didn’t.
Then I had to follow through with my threat, drive him down the bad kids’ road, and there was NOTHING THERE. He must have been five or six at the time, but even then, the symbolism was not lost on him.
Go down the bad kids’ road and nothing really happens…
Photo Credit: Endlisnis/flickr
#2. 3rd-Eye Lie
I convinced my 9-year-old that he would get his 3rd eye at 10.
#3. “What I meant was…”
‘I don’t care.’
What I meant was ‘I don’t mind.’ But, my young brain failed to make the distinction until I’d spent years telling my kids that I didn’t care if they went to their friend’s or I didn’t care if they went on a date.
I did care…my actions showed it…but my words were wrong.
#4. Swear Jar
When my daughter was around 8, I told her that a lot of the words that Daddy used were grown-up words and that she shouldn’t use them herself.
Then, she worked out what they were, and she said that I shouldn’t use them either.
I agreed, and in a fit of noble intention, agreed to the swear jar; a dollar a swear, to be all paid on her 18th birthday.
I owe my 16-year-old daughter about $14,500.
She has kept meticulous records, including a signed agreement from the year 2009.
#5. Guess What?!
‘Guess what?!…Chicken butt!’
My daughter says this 30+ times a day now.
#6. Drink up!
One time I told my 4-year-old daughter that I was making Mommy a cocktail because it would make her happy.
Now every time my wife gets mad, the girl says, ‘Mommy, You need a cocktail.’
#7. Angry Car
Years ago, when our first son was around 2-years-old, we would occasionally hang out in the garage.
We had tons of toys that he could push around and enjoy. But, anytime he happened to get too close to the street, we would press the car lock button which would beep a couple times.
We told him the car was mad that he was too close to the street. He would then haul-arse back up the driveway yelling ‘Car Mad, Car Mad!!’
I expect to pay psychiatrist bills due to this. Yes, yes I do.
#8. A question best left unasked…
“What are you going to do?
Stab me?!’ …
#9. An Understandable Regret
‘What is it buddy? Stop talking like that. I can’t understand you. I said STOP TALKING LIKE THAT!’
He’d walked into the living room from his bedroom after having his first seizure.
He was mumbling incoherently. I didn’t realize something was wrong until I noticed one side of his face was drooping and he was drooling.
I’ll never forgive myself.
#10. Impressive
My kid was being bullied, and she was miserable.
So I said, ‘Don’t be sad, you aren’t at fault. Take the problem out at its source’….
My darling cut her arm and told the teacher that her bully hurt her. She got the girl suspended.
To be honest, I’m more impressed than anything.
#11. Not the Worst film…
‘Yeah buddy you can watch TV before bed.’
Every night now we watch Cars.
Credit: Disney/Pixar/GIPHY
#12. Dad Jokes Gone Bad
I don’t remember exactly what I said, but my son was playing basketball at his school and had just made a basket but accidentally did it on the wrong side of the court, and he was humiliated.
I said something smart-assy trying to lighten the mood, and it totally backfired.
My son turned away and burst into tears.
I felt so low.
I apologized but the damage was done.
I regret it.
#13. Old people
He asked why his grandma died, and I said because she was old.
He now thinks all old people are about to die.
Oops.
#14. Dummies are like dolls in the U.S.
I told my son that the Dummy Fairy came and took all his dummies away because he was too big for them now, and that the fairy would give them to new babies who need them.
He was terrified that the fairy would take ALL of his stuff and give it away.
He also was really angry at babies.
#15. YOU ARE NOT A PARENT.
‘You’re all adopted!’
My cats haven’t looked at me the same way since…
#16. “Do you want daddy to help?”
I told my 4-year-old son to clean up his toys from the living-room floor.
‘I don’t want to, you do it.’
‘Well, Daddy didn’t make this mess. If I help you, I’m going to put it in the trash so I don’t have to ever clean it up again. Do you still want Daddy to help?’
‘Yeeees…’ a little unsure of if I meant it or not.
So, I picked up a toy and made a display of putting it in the trash, and went back for a second while he stood there in shock.
There was no third trip to the trash can.
But, ever since then, the phrase ‘Do you want Dad to help?’ has been met with some soul searching about possible consequences.
The message did pay off several years later when his little brother began the same routine about not wanting to pick up his toys.
‘Do you want Daddy to he-‘ I began, when big brother interrupted ‘NOOO, you don’t want Daddy to help, some of these are mine!’
And, they picked them up together.
That was a sweet pay off.
#17. Questions…
Just the other day, my 4-year-old daughter was in her usual 100 questions per hour mode.
It was morning and I’m not one who likes a lot of words before 10 a.m. and I said, ‘Can you please stop asking questions? I don’t have the answers for everything.’
In a slightly sad and disappointed voice she said, ‘OK dad, I will stop asking questions.’
I immediately felt like shit and still do several days later. Mommy and I had a talk with her to remind her to keep asking questions, and I think she quickly forgot what I had said anyway…I hope.
#18. Poor kid
‘Yeah, you can root for whoever you want.’
Kid is now a Bills fan.
#19. “Don’t run!”
I told my 3-year-old, who completely trusted me, never to run from a dog or they will chase you.
A 100-pound giant Rottweiler mix was charging at her at full speed, and she looked him in the eye and didn’t budge.
Bowled her over.
He was friendly, just an idiot.
I never got that level of trust from her again.
Photo Credit: Pixabay/CC0
#20. 1-2-3-4
I forgot how smart my daughter is.
When she was 2, she asked me for the code for my phone, because it went to sleep when she was playing some app I downloaded.
I told her “1-2-3-4,” because it’s the ultimate code…
Anyways she remembered it and was able to unlock my phone the next day and send numerous texts and make multiple phone calls without completely knowing what she was doing.
No actual harm in any of that, except the phone wasn’t on WiFi, and she found Netflix.
She watched a couple of hundred bucks worth of Paw Patrol that day.