Remember those date nights before you got married? Those evenings were hot, sultry, and full of romance.
Now that you’ve tied the knot? Maybe not so hot anymore…
Sleep! Now that’s exciting!
Enjoy these hilarious tweets about how date night…kind of fizzles out after you get married.
1. So happy together.
wife & I started scheduling date night between midnight & 7am, we just sleep the whole time, but at least we’re doing something together
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) August 11, 2018
2. Sounds like a blast.
Last night I had a date night with my husband, and it was great to talk about what groceries we need, how our physical bodies are deteriorating and the acceptable ways to fold shit in a completely different setting which also cost us money
— Healthy Living for Hot Messes (@HLFHM) July 28, 2018
Me after date night with Hubs: Ugh, I’m going to change into something more comfortable
*takes off going-out yoga pants, puts on staying-in yoga pants
— Housy Wife (@wife_housy) March 25, 2018
4. In sync.
My husband and I shouted at the kids to go back to bed at the same time and that’s the closest we’ve come to a date night in weeks.
— MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist) September 13, 2018
5. That’s a date, right?
My husband asked if I wanted to go on a date & then we laughed & laughed & went to Costco.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 22, 2018
6. Maybe in 12 years.
Me: We should have a date night next weekend.
Wife: A babysitter will cost $150.
Me: We should have a date night when the kids move out.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 12, 2016
7. That is HOT.
[kids gone for the evening]
wife: DATE NIGHT???
me: DATE NIGHT!!!
[we fall asleep watching 60 minutes]
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) October 16, 2017
8. Very romantic.
i'll have the chicken finger platter & my lovely wife will have
*hands over coupon
something of equal or lesser value
— Mr. Peel (@Rlpihl) November 19, 2015
9. Now you know.
DATING: I thought it was sad when I’d see a married couple at a restaurant not talking.
MARRIED: We carry on an entire conversation about the couple on a date at the table next to us using only our eyebrows.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) February 19, 2018
10. Oh, how things change.
Single: I'm going to the bar!
Dating: Wanna go to the bar?
Married: Can I go to the bar?
Married w/ Kids: Pottery Barn?
— Will Rodgers (@WilliamRodgers) September 12, 2015
11. Doesn’t seem equal.
Me getting ready for date night:
Shower, make dinner for kids, try to put make up on, get kid a snack, try to put make up on again, do my hair, referee sibling fight, get dressed.
Sits in a chair & asks why I’m not ready yet.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 5, 2018
12. Time to get $1.50 off.
I hope he brings me somewhere nice
[9 yr anniversary]
DID YOU USE THE CASH BACK ON DINING CARD? WHERE'S THE COUPON I GAVE YOU
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) September 24, 2017
13. Pay attention to the tenses.
My husband and I are going to dinner tonight and when we finished getting ready he was wearing shorts and a T-shirt and I am wearing a black dress.
Tenses are important in this tweet.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) August 11, 2018
14. Can we go home yet?
Date night mostly consists of checking the time for when the kids should be in bed so we can go back home
— Celeste Yvonne (@andwhatamom) July 26, 2017
15. A picnic at home.
It's 9:15 on Saturday night.
Married date night in progress. pic.twitter.com/Wdae0Q5c0p
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 5, 2017
Tell us about your last date night with your spouse.
We want to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly!