We’re not here to talk trash or put anyone down. Heck no, we’re here to have a great time and make people laugh as much as possible!
And we also want to give you a great big BOOST so you can get on your way to having a great day and a great week.
Our success rate in this department is 99.99999% so I’d say we have a pretty good handle on making it work.
So what do you say? Are you ready for some funny tweets?
Let’s get it started right this instant!
1. All moms do it.
It’s just in their DNA.
My mom when I opened up a bag of candy in the backseat of the car. pic.twitter.com/zFhFGHqJby
— Kal (@Kaldruen) July 16, 2020
2. This is amazing.
I bet the new owners were pretty shocked.
My parents sold their house like a month ago but my mother JUST realized she did not uninstall the special fire alarms she had put in that are a recording of her own voice screaming at me and my sister to “GET OUT OF THE HOUSE BECAUSE MOM’S CANDLES CAUGHT THE HOUSE ON FIRE”
— kayla kumari upadhyaya (@KaylaKumari) July 15, 2020
3. He definitely stole the show.
He is definitely a good-looking pooch.
He really ate me tf up in this picture. pic.twitter.com/a6xEJq689d
— The God Tongue (@aprettyPR) July 18, 2020
4. You sound like you might be a little bit paranoid.
Would you agree with that?
every 18 seconds I'm like "do I have covid or is that just what it feels like to have a throat?"
— pat regan (@poregan) July 15, 2020
5. This kid has a future in comedy.
Hey o! Zing!
My son came and got me, saying there was a serious leak under the kitchen sink. pic.twitter.com/OEqnR1McJ6
— Tenessa Gemelke (@gemelket) July 14, 2020
6. What else can you really say at this point?
So, anyway…yeah, I’m gonna start using this, too.
coworker used "anyway" as an email sign-off instead of "best" or "warmly" or w/e and honestly that's the only work mood left
— sasha jones (@tartikovsky) July 14, 2020
7. It’s like being on stage all day.
There’s a lot of recovery time involved here…
Introverts need time to recover from social interaction because they’ve been acting all day.
— Shower Thoughts (@TheWeirdWorld) May 29, 2020
8. Just pretend it doesn’t exist.
That’s a little bit too close for comfort.
the girl in purple LMFAOOOO she’s like “if i don’t look at it, it’s not there” 😭😭 pic.twitter.com/pWQiJ6IqnL
— haydi 🧍🏻♀️ (@bbyhaydi) July 19, 2020
9. But we all know that this isn’t possible.
You MUST tell the world about what you read!
I actually think the bravest thing you can do is read a book and not tell anyone about it
— Rachel Wenitsky (@RachelWenitsky) July 16, 2020
10. I want you to promote this, too.
Everyone must see this!
how do you do promoted tweets i wanna promote this pic.twitter.com/Xsy4nJ4Hex
— kirstin (Hello?) ✿ (@kisstheriot) July 18, 2020
11. Okay, boomer…dog.
Don’t tell them that. They might get upset.
if your dog is over 8 years old (56 in dog years) then your dog is a boomer, sorry
— jonny sun wrote a new book! (@jonnysun) November 8, 2019
12. Mona Lisa has been canceled.
I knew this was gonna happen!
They found her old tweets pic.twitter.com/7eJZRKO8JK
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) November 6, 2019
13. You’re playing by your own rules.
Go on with your bad self!
"Well-behaved women seldom make history," I whisper as I don't wait the full 10 minutes for the oven to preheat.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) October 25, 2020
Ahhhh, that’s better!
And now we want to hear from you!
In the comments, share some funny stuff that you’ve seen lately on social media.
We want memes, tweets, photos, jokes, etc! Thanks a lot!