Let me paint you a picture and you tell me if this sounds accurate…
You’re tired, frustrated, and the adorable little angels that you call your children are driving you up the wall.
I’m right, aren’t I? Another bullseye!
Well, that’s why you need to take a break from the hysteria and have some good, quality laughs about the realities of parenting.
Are you ready for some truth? Let’s take a look!
1. I want to see some video of this kid.
He’s gonna be a star someday!
My dad has been doing a huge amount of childcare for us in quarantine so I’m delighted to announce my 1-year old baby gestures and shrugs like a 64-year old Jewish man.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) October 4, 2020
2. Wait just a second…
Now I’m kind of confused.
Me: get off that Xbox, it's too violent
Son: what can we play instead?
Me: come sit down. this is hangman, an educational, family-friendly game where you get executed if you're dumb
— The Dad (@thedad) October 18, 2020
3. Another kid with a bright future!
I was not very smart at that age…
My 5-year old is rebelling against zoom school by mouthing words instead of speaking so as to make her teacher think there’s something wrong with the unmuting function
— Spencer Ackerman (@attackerman) October 15, 2020
4. This is how you can terrify me.
Kids, are you paying attention?
my kid is running around behind me screaming, “BOO! Did I scare you?”
kid, if you want to scare me go somewhere else in the house and be quiet for ten minutes. i’ll be terrified
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) October 26, 2020
5. So you’re teaching her to lie?
Hey, don’t worry about it!
I want my 13 year old to understand how important honesty is but also know that she is 12 when kids eat free.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 10, 2020
6. The scariest story of all time.
This is truly terrifying.
Me: …and then you were born, and we never slept past 6:00 a.m. again
Kids: that wasn’t a scary story!
Wife: maybe not to you
— The Dad (@thedad) October 25, 2020
7. Are you sure that you kids want to do that?
Okay, if you insist.
watching annie with the kids and now they want me to put them in an orphanage so a wealthy person can adopt them
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) October 17, 2020
8. No, not like that.
I mean you should go outside this room, please.
Me: may I have some privacy please
2: yes *closes bathroom door with him inside*
— Not Another Pinterest Mom (@snarkymomtobe) October 21, 2020
9. Yeah, that’s not a very fun game.
How about we play something else?
Kids really overestimate how much parents want to guess things.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 17, 2020
10. Ouch. That one stings.
Oh, so that’s how it’s gonna be?
Me: What's wrong?
8-year-old: I have to write a whole paragraph for school.
Me: That's no so bad. I write entire books.
8: Yeah, but this has to be good.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 1, 2020
11. Kids say the darndest things!
How adorable are they?!?!
Me: Do you like my haircut?
8-year-old: Not really.
Me: What's wrong with it?
8: You missed the ones in your nose.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 25, 2020
12. Don’t fall for it!
Nothing good will come of this.
4-year-old: Can I have scissors?
Me: For what?
4: Not cutting my hair.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 27, 2020
13. Yes, that’s fine.
Now carry on…
My sons started calling each other pudgy and skinny and I told them no body shaming, so now they're calling each other idiots which I'm totally cool with.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) October 1, 2020
How about you?
Are your kiddos driving you up the wall right now? Or is all quiet and calm…for now?
Talk to us in the comments and tell us what’s going on!