I’m not your mother. I’m not your father.

And I’m also not your legal guardian.

But I do think we can all agree that I am your tweet master.

And today I’m going to guide you through a hilarious collection of tweets that I, as your tweet master, firmly believe that you need in your life.

And I don’t want to hear any backtalk! Oh, sorry, I did just kind of sound like your father right there…

Go ahead and dig into these funny tweets…or else you’re grounded. Darnit, I did it again…

1. This is pretty good.

Maybe we should all start using this…

2. I think this is a good idea.

Well, it’s the truth, isn’t it?!?!

3. You might be right about this one.

That was a pretty wild time.

4. Your date is going extremely well.

You’re gonna get lucky tonight, my friend!


5. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

But I’m guessing that it’s not good…

6. Oh baby, now it’s time to party!

I knew I got the vaccine for a reason!

7. How did that work out for you?

He can’t come up with a better line?

8. This needs to be a TV show.

Who’s gonna write the pilot?

9. This is great advice for writers.

Especially the last part…


10. Kind of a bummer, huh?

And really not very sexy at all.

11. I’ve never heard this one before.

But you should always listen to your doctor.

12. They know how to rock AND they’re health experts.

We salute them!

13. Who is that?

Why are you wasting my time with this?

How about you?

Have you seen any funny tweets lately that you really loved?

Well, don’t keep them to yourself! Please share them with us in the comments!