The Great American Road Trip. It’s a rite of passage in this great country, whether you’re driving only a few hours or you’re driving across the entire continent.
I’ve been on some road trips in my day, some great, some…not so great (Kansas City to Dallas, 1998, I’m still not over it).
Anyway, here are some funny tweets about that memorable experience that is THE ROAD TRIP.
1. Gonna be a long day.
When can we stop and eat?
-me, 10 minutes into an eight-hour road trip
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) July 13, 2017
2. 100% in charge.
Road trip rules
1) I control the radio while I'm driving
2) I control the radio while you're driving
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) July 21, 2016
3. Things get weird.
IMPRESSION OF A ROAD TRIP:
min 7 – WE ARE ALL BESHST FRANDZZZ
min 52 – i wonder if i could roll out of a moving car
min 111 – who killed jfk
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) September 2, 2016
4. Mine, too!
road trips are the best vacations because they combine my two favorite things: air conditioning and sitting down
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) May 28, 2016
5. Did I bring the Twinkies?
The first 30 minutes of any road trip is spent mentally cataloging everything you forgot to pack.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) June 27, 2018
6. Never works out, does it?
No one is full of more false hope than a parent organizing car ride activities before a long road trip.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 3, 2018
7. There’s no way they’re lying!
when we'd go on a road trip, my dad would see a sign that said "the best burgers" and be like, oh we have to stop there, they have the best!
— maura quint (@behindyourback) July 22, 2016
8. Perfectly describes them.
Mumford and Sons: because the "beginning of road trip" scenes in movies need music
— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) May 24, 2015
9. Sorry, no can do.
Friend: We should go on a road trip.
Me: Absolutely. Let's do it.
Friend: You could bring your kids.
Me: I'm busy that weekend.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 30, 2017
10. Try to go while you’re driving. That’s a skill.
Going on a road trip is basically the art of finding a place to buy coffee followed by finding a place to pee in a loop forever.
— Carbosly (@Carbosly) May 7, 2018
11. Might be dangerous.
Road trip mixtape. Girl from Ipanema and Waze on same phone: “ That when she passes, each one she passes goes TURN RIGHT IN 100 FEET!
— John Dickerson (@jdickerson) November 21, 2018
12. He’s got it all in his head.
Headed out on a road trip with my husband so if I’m never heard from again he probably got us lost because he “doesn’t need directions.”
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 27, 2019
13. You should get to your destination sometime next week.
An easy way to add 45 minutes to a road trip is to let your kids pick out a snack when you stop for gas.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 26, 2014
14. Maybe on the roof?
friend: got all 5 kids loaded in for the road trip. where do u want to sit
— beth, CNN's favorite angry leftist Bernie bro (@bourgeoisalien) August 26, 2016
15. Dad is always the last holdout.
The most shameful thing a dad can do is be the one who has to pee on a road trip.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 2, 2016
Do you have some good road trip stories?
Tell us all about them in the comments.