Why the long face, friend? Do the holidays (or the long winter months) got you down in the dumps?
Well, let’s change that RIGHT THIS INSTANT.
Here are some funny, wholesome, quality tweets for you to enjoy.
Let’s make it a great day!
1. Mom?
Doctor: ”Okay, so what’s wrong with you today?”
Me: *Turns to my mom* pic.twitter.com/hPGXt6xHFM
— ѕнα∂ყ™ ➐ (@6illeh) December 3, 2019
2. This isn’t cool.
Damn how much daylight they tryna save ?!?! It’s dark as a bitch
— @theinfamousbecks_ (@NyaaBeckles) December 8, 2019
3. Hahaha. Zing!
THIS LITTLE GIRL I’M BABYSITTING JUST ASKED ME IF I HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND I SAID NOT ANYMORE AND SHE SAID “BOYFRIENDS ARE A WASTE OF TIME” AND THEN SHE TURNS TO HER BROTHER AND TELLS HIM “YOU’RE GONNA BE A WASTE OF TIME”
— madison (@itsmadimay) December 15, 2019
4. That is pretty impressive.
My high ass over here amazed by this shit pic.twitter.com/Qtu8ezaLPv
— Capricorn (@Thaskiaraa) December 8, 2019
5. Are those…sex toys?
PETCO??? https://t.co/az0XZEojer
— sam (@crahckhead) December 7, 2019
6. Uber public relations.
That unspoken group dynamic when all your friends are in an Uber on your way to the club and the people in the backseat are lit, dancing and scream talking and the person in the front seat is the group's PR person and talks to the driver and just keeps saying "I'm sorry for that"
— Aol.com (@lukasbattle) December 10, 2019
7. Well, hi!
someone recorded their cat saying “well hi!” in a southern accent and i will never be the same pic.twitter.com/iczFsGI1N7
— ? (babu frick) (@scoopstroop) December 4, 2019
8. That’s a plus.
Three months ago I was crying every single day when I drove home from work because I was so unhappy with my life.
I’m still doing that but now I get to listen to Christmas music simultaneously
— Mat (@matchu_chutrain) December 8, 2019
9. Look busy!
When ya boss is watching you so you gotta act busy pic.twitter.com/6Dbc5aghZq
— Papa Preme (@MrSoupreme) December 13, 2019
10. Airplane mode.
When you don’t put your phone in airplane mode ??♂️? pic.twitter.com/3wXc7lrtm6
— Mark Phillips (@SupremeDreams_1) December 11, 2019
11. There are about four meals in there.
I don’t know what message she’s trying to send, but the lady at my bodega snuck an entire salad into my turkey sandwich. pic.twitter.com/g8tYMI4Gkp
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) December 12, 2019
12. Dawg…
dawg i was 13 changing the HTML codes on my tumblr page like i was a 2000s movie teen hacker but now i can’t be even spell ecxel
— t*na (@puppyporunga) December 7, 2019
13. That’s a big bonus.
I like men who are on twitter because it shows me that they can read
— Erica (@eerrriiicaa) December 8, 2019
14. I hope you’re not mad at me.
[as a lawyer]
me: "permission to approach the bench, your honor"
judge: "granted"
me, whispering: "are you mad at me?"
— F. Thot Bitchgerald (@MyDadIsOld) December 3, 2019
15. I feel this deep in my soul.
i thought i liked seeing movies but turns out i like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me
— Cara Weinberger (@caraweinberger) December 11, 2019
Ahhhh, that was just what the doctor ordered…