Collectible figurines can be a blast to own and display–they’re like Barbies or GI Joes for adults!–but if your tastes tend to run “alternative,” a Hummel or a Precious Moments figurine aren’t going to cut it. So you might be left feeling like figurines just aren’t for you. Well, I’m here to tell you about a line of Hieronymus Bosch figurines from Parastone.
First, a brief art history lesson. Hieronymus Bosch was a Dutch painter born in 1450 and active in the early Northern Renaissance. He’s still known for his wild, fantastical landscapes depicting religious themes, and especially Hell. Basically, he was painting Slayer album covers, 500 years before heavy metal was even invented.
Photo Credit: Vice
It’s kind of odd that there haven’t been Bosch figurines available on the Internet until recently, but at least Parastone has rectified that oversight. And even though these babies cost around $50 bucks a pop, I want them ALL!
1. Freak with Beard
Photo Credit: Amazon
Alternate name: REALLY Bad Santa
2. Blue Flutist
Photo Credit: Amazon
Alternate name: Star Wars cantina reject
3. Bird with Letter
Photo Credit: Amazon
Alternate name: The world’s worst hockey player
4. Devil on Night Chair
Photo Credit: Amazon
Alternate name: People: it’s what’s for dinner.
5. Egg Monster
Photo Credit: Amazon
Alternate name: Orrin Hatch
6. Bird with Blue Egg
Photo Credit: Amazon
Alternate name: Human Birdipede
7. Helmeted Bird Monster
Photo Credit: Amazon
Alternate name: whatever my roommate gets up to in the privacy of his own room is his business.
8. Monster from Temptation of Saint Anthony
Photo Credit: Amazon
Alternate name: Failed Unicorn Clone
9. Choir’s Devil
Photo Credit: Amazon
Alternate name: It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A (in hell)
10. Fish Tower
Photo Credit: Amazon
Alternate name: Flipper swam a little too close to the nuclear power plant.
11. Tree Man
Photo Credit: Amazon
Alternate name: IKEA just got a whole lot sexier.
12. Fat Belly with Dagger
Photo Credit: Amazon
Alternate name: Tickle Me Hellmo
13. Bird Monster with Castle Body
Photo Credit: Amazon
Alternate name: Well, that’s the last time I’m doing LSD.
h/t: Dangerous Minds