I’m not married but I get to live vicariously through my married friends…and I get to see the nitty-gritty.
Perhaps…but it is what it is.
And today we’re gonna have some laughs from folks who are actually livin’ the married life FOR REAL.
Let’s take a look.
1. First and last name.
How intimate!
today I discovered my husband still has me in his phone as “Elyssa Brooklyn” which is SO FUNNY because he’s still in my phone as “don’t pick up”
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) January 30, 2022
2. How can I measure up to this?
You’re making me look bad!
My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) February 6, 2022
3. She’ll never tell…
Why do they do this?
My wife knows exactly where she wants to go for dinner, she’s just not telling anyone.
— Crac⚡ked (@a_simpl_man) February 1, 2022
4. Sick burn!
He meant the figure skating competition.
Husband, watching the Olympics: I could totally do that.
Me: Drive the Zamboni?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 7, 2022
5. You stole their joke.
Good job!
My 7yo: If today is Tuesday, then why isn’t tomorrow Threesday?
Me:
Me, later to my wife: If today is Tuesday, then why isn’t tomorrow Threesday?
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) February 1, 2022
6. A classic joke.
But she’s heard it before…
Asked my wife for her help using the stud finder since she clearly had experience finding one before. Unamused. Her: “You can only use that joke once.” … somewhere, another dad chuckles and nods his head.
— John Keim (@john_keim) February 5, 2022
7. Are you still hungry?
That took a while.
Husband: Where do you want to eat?
{5 years later}
Me: Applebee’s is fine
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) January 25, 2022
8. Get with the program.
If you know what’s good for you…
Unsolicited marriage advice-
Support the shit outta your spouse’s rage cleaning.
— Your Favorite Gay Mom? (@lezzimomof2) January 29, 2022
9. Might not survive this.
We wish you luck.
My husband beat me at Wordle this morning. Please pray for our marriage during this trial.
— Laura Klenda (@KlauraLenda) February 6, 2022
10. Non-stop noise over there.
This is not good…
yeah i sleep with a white noise machine ive been married to him for almost 11 years
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 31, 2022
11. This is true.
Take your pick.
You can either have a good day or your husband can put a bookshelf together, you cannot have both
— Maryfairyboberry??♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) February 5, 2022
Are you livin’ the married life?
If so, tell us how it’s going in the comments.
Thanks a lot!