Rules and laws are usually in place for a reason, but doesn’t the saying go “Rules Were Made To Be Broken”? These AskReddit users sure think so.
Here is a list of 25 people who say “Eff You” to what is socially expected of them and find their own little ways of rebelling against the man…or that jackass who is always double parked.
#1. Cocks
“Each month when I pay the Cox cable bill, I write “Cocks” instead of “Cox” on the check. It has never been returned and I’ve been doing it for ten years.”
#2. “Changes”
“I do print design, and sometimes when my boss asks me to move something just a little bit to the left and I feel like they’re making changes just for the sake of making changes, I don’t move it at all. They always accept these “changes.””
#3. Fancy Slippers
“My work requires dress shoes to be worn at all times. I bought black slippers that I wear around the office and claim they’re suede, and management and coworkers believe it.”
#4. It’s Like Vacation Every Day!
“I taught in a public high school. My principal forbid the wearing of jeans. I started wearing Aloha shirts. When I realized how much it pissed him off I amassed a collection of more than 50 of them by making frequent purchases at local thrift stores. I wore them every single day other than school picture day when I wore a tuxedo complete with a tie and cummerbund fashioned out of…aloha print cloth!”
#5. Road Warrior
“I follow the traffic rules, wait at red lights, use indicators for switching lanes, follow lanes, and refrain from honking. I live in India.”
#6. Silent Protest
“I was at an awards presentation and a person that I don’t like won an award. I didn’t applaud. I’m sure someone noticed my silent protest.”
#7. Free Hugs
“We had an acting manager attempt to make it a rule that people couldn’t hug each other at work. He felt it was unprofessional. This resulted in everyone hugging everyone for everything. As a form of greeting, farewell, good job, ‘let’s have a coffee’, etc. Turns out, he was the only one that no one ever wanted to hug.”
#8. Manspreading
“I’m a large muscular brown man. When I see some asshole taking up waaaaay too much room on the subway, I sit down right next to them. RIGHT next to them.”
#9. Bed Bugs
“My work truck is infested with bed bugs. My boss refuses to treat it because he thinks that it’s coming from the patients I transport. So, whenever I find a bed bug, I save it live in a jar and release it into his office. When his office is infested, he’ll do something about it.”
#10. Dick Burgers
“I work at a restaurant. If customers are loud and/or obnoxious, I draw ketchup dicks on their burgers, or whisper “fuck you” to their pancakes as I flip them.”
#11. Badass
“I’m a defense attorney and when I write motions and appeals in federal court I don’t capitalize the “g” in “government” when referring to it as a party. It’s pretty badass.”
#12. Passive Aggressive, Much?
“My name is a name that is commonly misspelled. If they misspell my name while emailing me, I bump the font size of my name up one point every time they misspell my name.”
#13. Kumquat IS A Funny Word
“For a semester I used the word ‘kumquat’ in every academic paper I wrote. Kumquat is a funny word.”
#14. Fuck You Parents
“When I was a kid I said a cuss word once, and my parents made me go to my room. They came in and gave me a bar of soap and told me that I had 10 minutes to lick the soap, and if they came back and I still hadn’t licked it then I would be in more trouble. Out of spite I ate the entire bar of soap, and safe to say ever since I’ve been allowed to say whatever the fuck I want.”
#15. Unisex Yoga Pants
“Some coven of old ladies is on a committee at my work that decides random things for the building and they decided to ban yoga pants. Its warehouse work and a lot of my female coworkers were understandably upset as trying to bend in any direction while wearing jeans can be difficult. So I, a 30 y/o, 130lb male have been wearing my girlfriends yoga pants and leggings to work everyday, for a WEEK now.”
#16. You Don’t Know Me!
“When Google search predicts what I’m going to type, I finish typing it myself. Get over yourself. You don’t fucking know me.”
#17. I Will Bankrupt You One Penny At A Time
“Charging my phone at work. I’M TAKING ALL THEIR ELECTRICITY.”
#18. Yay Karma
“When I see a meter maid coming down the street, I quickly put one coin in each expired meter. A dime, nickel or quarter means nothing to me but a 66 freakin dollar ticket for an expired meter really blows and could ruin someone’s day. I know from experience because a few years ago my ticket expired at 3:31, I arrived back to my car at 3:35 after waiting in a long line in the store and had received a ticket with the time stamp of 3:32. They had to be sitting there WAITING for me to expire. It’s a thankless little gesture but I don’t know…if it exists, maybe the good karma will come back to me. Also, I like to think they didn’t get their extortion money.”
#19. Pooping On Company Time
“I take several 15 minute long bathroom breaks throughout the work day.”
#20. Shampoo Plot
“I just lather and rinse. Repeating is a plot by big shampoo to sell more product.”
#21. Time Fraud
“I got in at 7:05 this morning, but I’m putting 7:00 on my time card.”
#22. Cyclists Are Harsh, Man
“I’m a lawyer and my firm has car parking for partners with allocated spaces. One partner, who is notoriously mean to colleagues and staff, cycles in. He obsessively parks his bike in the same place (as though its his space). Bike spaces aren’t allocated. I also cycle in. I park in “his” spot every time I get the chance.”
#23. Working Remotely
“I got really tired of over an hour long commute to my office where I literally don’t work with anyone there. So one day last November I stopped coming into the office. Nobody has said a word, and I was promoted in January.”
#24. Ride On
“If I’m not in a rush and the transit cops are checking tickets, I act as sketchy as I can so they pick me, and then fumble and act like I can’t find my pass until everyone’s off the train platform. Then I suddenly remember that my monthly pass was in my pocket the whole time. Broke people shouldn’t get fines for riding public transit. Ride on, poor folks, ride on.”
#25. Paid To Reddit
“Well, I’m on Reddit at work…”
Want more? Check out these.
24 Confessions So Crazy They Could Only Be Shared Anonymously