I’ve never been a real estate agent. But I’d imagine one of the hardest parts of the gig is selling a house that still has the previous owner’s stuff in it–especially when that owner’s sense of style is, to put it charitably, questionable. It’s gotta be tough convincing a prospective buyer to picture themselves in a home covered in nude clown wallpaper or “Crime Scene: Do Not Cross” tape.

Today we’ve got a selection of photos taken by real estate agents that were intended to showcase a home, but fell short. Far short. By the end you’ll be amazed anyone ever sold a house at all.

1. Which wine pairs best with taking a dump?

2. The dining room is great, if you don’t mind the memorial to a clown who was murdered.

3. A good realtor can spin a flaw into a feature. Even demon possession.

4. She comes with the house. Non-negotiable.

5. This was the last year deer hunters were allowed to use a machine gun.

6. Ah, the classic sink-ashtray combo.

7. “They’ll never notice.”

8. I’ve always wanted waterfront property.

9. “Before we moved in, it was so difficult getting the whole family to spend time together.”

10. Granddad had three interests: horses, ships, and tetanus.

11. “Um, the previous owner had a dog. Who could walk on the walls. That’s definitely not black mold.”

12. I wonder what this place smells like.

13. Nothing ties a room together like a 900lb boulder.

14. That’ll lower the asking price.

15. And finally, no house is complete without a dick-ture window.


h/t: Terrible Real Estate Agent Photos