Let’s face it: dolls are cute, but they can also be creepy. The vacant stares. The mouths, twisted into a forever smile. The way they look too real for a toy but not real enough to be human. It gives me the willies just thinking about it.
But you know what’s even creepier than dolls? Old dolls! That’s because children’s toys from the past were nowhere near as cute and cuddly as they are today. The 1800’s equivalent of an American Girl doll was just an old corn husk with a face painted in cow’s blood. Have fun, kids!
In that spirit, here are 15 old-school dolls that you’ll have a hard time believing children actually used to play with.
1. Lazy Eye Larry
Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday
2. Rat-Face Randall
Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday
3. Baby Two Face
Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday
4. The Stabby Sisters
Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday
5. Felicity Five-Head
Photo Credit: Museum of Childhood
6. Chrissy Crow’s Feet
Photo Credit: Boredom Therapy
7. Watches-You-Sleep Willie
Photo Credit: Boredom Therapy
7. Lumpy Louis
Photo Credit: Etsy
8. Gummy, the Toothless Clown
Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday
9. Sammy Soul-Eater
Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday
10. Betsy Blood Drinker
Photo Credit: Boredom Therapy
11. Unimpressed Ursula
Photo Credit: Hint Mag
12. Chopped-Up Charlotte
Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday
13. Breathes-On-Your-Neck Brian
Photo Credit: Doll Reference
14. The Amazing Albert, and His Little Pal Burnface
Photo Credit: Hint Mag
15. Too-Much-Plastic-Surgery Patty
Photo Credit: Vintage Everyday
Move over, Chucky.
h/t: Vintage Everyday