Here are two truths: One, lots of people love carbs. Because we’re built that way! Two, carbs, and especially simple carbohydrates like white flour and table sugar, aren’t the healthiest diet option, because they cause weight gain.
These two truths are completely opposed to each other, and that’s caused carb-lovers, (myself included), endless frustration. But don’t fret! Because we’ve got a selection of jokes from your fellow bread fiends that’ll make you feel a bit less alone.
So, if you’re the sort of person who can’t have pasta without seconds, or you scarf down a whole basket of complimentary bread before the apps have even arrived, or you needed to take a second job to support your daily soft pretzel habit, read on!
1. The real reason you go to weddings. (And birthday parties.)
2. There’s no such thing as “too much.”
3. Carbs get in the way of relationships.
4. But not if you find the right person.
5. Self-control is for other people.
6. Your hunger for carbs can lead to a life of crime.
7. Your spirit animal? The Very Hungry Caterpillar.
8. Sometimes, you hear what you wanna hear.
9. Olive Garden is the devil’s playground.
10. A foolproof way to get a carb-lover’s attention.
11. When it comes to dieting, listen to the experts.
12. When you’re hungry, it’s difficult to think about anything else.
13. The most important person in your life is the delivery guy.
14. Even sex takes a back seat to carbs.
15. You literally can’t imagine your life without them.