It’s just as true in 2019 as it was in 1919, 1819, even all the way back to 19 A.D.: the next generation of up-and-coming adults is everything that’s wrong with society–according to the previous generation of up-and-coming adults, that is.
Right now, the target of most inter-generational ire is millennials, aka the generation born between the early 1980’s and the late 1990’s/early 2000’s. According to freaked out baby-boomers, millennials are both so coddled that they literally can’t function in the real world, while simultaneously so destructive that they’re bringing about the end of the world.
Millennials get flak on all sides, especially on social media. Debating the issue is futile. Instead, the only tactic that works is a well-crafted zinger.
So if you’re a millennial who just wants to enjoy your avocado toast without being accused of the downfall of civilization, here are 15 comebacks and jokes to give you a little inspiration. Best of all, they’re gluten free! That’s a thing millennials care about, right?
1. Renter 4 Lyfe
If I had a dollar for every time a BabyBoomer complained about my generation, I’d have enough money to buy a house in the market they ruined
— Talia F Enright (@talzir) March 15, 2015
2. You just can’t win.
My dad is a loud climate change denier but also won’t retire in south Florida cuz “it’s going to sink into the ocean” lol baby boomers are fun
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) March 21, 2018
3. Our generation’s Trading Places.
Photo Credit: guiltyhipster.tumblr.com
4. Everyone’s fighting, meanwhile this guy has solutions.
Maybe if millennials spent less on brunch and more on particle physics research they could travel to 1974 and afford a house. Just a thought
— Brooks Otterlake (@i_zzzzzz) October 16, 2016
5. “Retirement” is a strange old fashioned word, like “corset.”
Photo Credit: me.me
6. The truth about brunch.
My generation loves brunch because it’s two hours of distraction from the fact we’ll never own real estate.
— braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) March 19, 2017
7. Let’s keep things in perspective.
“millennials killed department stores” baby boomers killed the polar bears but right right right my deepest apologies to jc penny
— jaboukie (@jaboukie) June 4, 2017
8. Blamed, from the cradle to the grave.
If all millennials suddenly died the next day’s article would be “How millennials are driving up funeral costs”
— Posting is a human right (@InternetHippo) March 19, 2017
9. Millennials aren’t dumb. Every generation is dumb.
“millennials are idiots” – the generation that made a millionaire out of the creator of the pet rock
— your pal andy (@andylevy) August 13, 2015
10. Hypocrite, much?
baby boomers: “The youth of today is so disrespectful.”
also baby boomers: “I asked for a burger with only ketchup, but you didn’t put pickles on it and I like pickles, so I’m gonna need to scream at you until your manager offers me a coupon for a free large coffee.”
— trevør (@jonestm97) March 6, 2018
11. Millennial midlife crisis: buying the top-shelf brand of almond milk.
You know boomers had it good because their go-to midlife crisis move was buying an expensive car
— Randall Otis (@RandallOtisTV) April 25, 2019
12. Our generations will only know peace when everyone is offended.
old person: you kids get so offended these days!
teenager: happy holidays
old person: >:O— Anna (@OceanEmber) January 2, 2016
13. Monopoly for millennials.
There should be a millenial edition of Monopoly where you just walk round the board paying rent, never able to buy anything.
— joe (@mutablejoe) November 26, 2016
14. For something called The Economist, they don’t seem to have a firm grasp on economics.
There should be a millenial edition of Monopoly where you just walk round the board paying rent, never able to buy anything.
— joe (@mutablejoe) November 26, 2016
15. By the numbers.
Photo Credit: rnusicality
h/t: Buzzfeed