Body hair keeps going in and out of style, and that’s nothing new. Waxing, or the practice of ripping away body hair with hot wax, goes all the way back to ancient Egypt.
For millennia, people have been willing to undergo extreme pain and embarrassment to rid themselves of unwanted body hair. And that’s just when waxing goes according to plan. Quite often, things can go very, very wrong while you’re getting a Brazilian. Recently, Redditor u/dreamingofwealth asked professional waxers to share their worst horror stories from inside the salon.
I could give you some examples to set this article up better, but honestly, nothing I make up could be nearly as gnarly as what these folks actually witnessed. So let’s get to it. Fair warning: you probably don’t want to be eating while you read this one.
1. Pro tip.
“I’m a hairstylist but an esthetician friend of mine said she kept a small container of Vick’s vaporub in her apron pocket and would smear a bit on her upper lip before doing certain peoples brazillains because of the smell.” – bardbitchesonly
2. Power move.
“A new client came in right after having sex, and leaked all over the bed. And she wanted me to finish the job, so cleaned herself right in front of me, completely nonchalantly! I couldn’t look her in the eyes.” – Playfully_Mandeh
3. Pulling a “President Taft.”
“My waxing lady told me she had a client who tried to do a Brazilian at home… the client did a small bit then changed her mind , she hopped in a hot bath to “wash off” the wax and got stuck in the tub. The client then called to flatmates who couldn’t pull her out. Her flat mates then called the ambulance who called the fire service who cut part of the bath out then the ambulance took her to hospital where they removed the bath piece and wax with solvents! Welp! Can you imagine?” – mariawest
4. This story is above the belt, but still awful.
“I was a hairstylist and we really only ever did facial waxing and offered to clients as an upsell. A regular client of mine was traumatised by a proir waxing experience (with a stylist that was not my self years prior) and declined. Well, the stylist went to wax her brows and dropped a giant clump or of wax on her lashes! Then proceeded to take a long time to remove the wax (I think like an hour) with only water and no oil residue remover that would have made the wax side off instantly.” – Webbigaillafey
5. At least they didn’t have to make small talk?
“A waxer once told me that she had ‘accidentally’ waxed a girls tampon straight out of her. The string must have got caught in the wax. Neither of them said anything for the next 30 mins.” – MSG080
6. The worst episode of Grey’s Anatomy ever.
“Not me, but this happened to a friend of mine. She and her girlfriend decided to get Brazilian waxes together. It was her first Brazilian wax, so she had no frame of reference for how much it was supposed to hurt. First strip, okay, few more, fine, then one more pull and MEGA PAIN. The waxer looked terrified, but then just smiled and just quickly made gestures for her to get dressed and come out front to pay (this happened in South Korea). When she got home, she inspected the area, and the waxer had actually ripped her labia. She had to immediately go to hospital to get stitches to have it repaired. All my friend did was go back to the salon with her hospital bill and demand that they pay it and call the matter settled, which they did.” – helenmaryskata
7. This one’s kinda sweet?
“A favorite of mine was the girl who came in for a Brazilian and was shaking from nervousness before we even started. I’ll spare you the details but it took over an hour to finish the service (usually takes 15-30 minutes, 45 is the MOST it should EVER take) and at some point she had a full on anxiety attack. I was being as gentle as I could considering I was ripping hair out of her body and after every pull she sat up, cried loudly, and then dropped back onto the bed. She got off the bed still half naked and started pacing back and forth loudly sobbing and hyperventilating. I was trying my best to keep her calm but honestly, it was all in her head. Getting your hair ripped out always hurts but her hair SHOULD HAVE been an easy service, she let herself panic and the fear got to her. After she left I sat in the break room, took a deeeep breath in….and starting sobbing lol. I was so glad to be done with it. She was sweet otherwise, no smell, easy hair to work with, but God that was the most stressful service of my life. She actually came back a few more times after that and we finished in 20 minutes, no more incidents.” – WTFIsntTakenYet
8. Forgetting something?
“I asked this very question to someone who was waxing me. Their worst is normally hygiene related, like a woman who’d clearly had sex at some point just before the appointment and hadn’t cleaned out properly.” – wetfish-db
9. Next time, call a professional.
“I don’t do it for a living, but I wax myself during swimsuit season. I had forgotten to put baby powder down and accidentally put too much wax on my bikini line. I decided to pull it off anyway. It took a few fabric strips and I ended up having to pull extremely hard. I broke some capillaries and ended up bruising extremely bad. Hurt like a bitch to wear underwear for a week…” – Tibbersbear
10. The seafood special.
“Not a waxer, but an eyelash technician. One time I had a client come in with crabs in her eyelashes which was obviously the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Frequently people come in for fills and haven’t bothered to clean their eyes for 3 weeks thinking it will make the extensions stay on longer resulting in a nice layer of yellow crusties all along the lash line.” – cwestwoodh
11. Why there should be mandatory showers before any waxing.
“A lady would ask for a Brazilian wax, which includes the ass crack. She already had strong body odour and when my teacher waxed the ass crack, the wax strip was caked in sh*t. She just about threw up on the client.” – stefaniey
12. There’s a first and last time for everything.
“So I didnt know my skin was insanely sensitive. I went in got the whole kit and kaboodle. Brazilian the lady even did the inside of my ass cheeks a bit. Welllll turns out I’m more sensitive than I thought I was, and the severe itching and enormous rash that followed was catastrophic. I was so itchy, and so miserable. I got it done because I had an Indiana dunes trip coming up and my boyfriend said “thatd be so hot”.
It was not hot. I was wrecked. I did not enjoy the dunes. It felt like someone rubbed poison ivy all over my vag and ass and inner thighs. No matter how much aloe vera cocoa butter and ointments I costed it with it was a nightmare for like a week before I started seeing results. So the week was spent with horrible tossing and turning sleep followed by me waking trying to itch it. Going to the bathroom sucked, hot showers sucked cold showers sucked everything about It sucked. One of the 100 creams I used gave me a uti. It was a nightmare inside a nightmare. Oi.”
13. Take it easy! I make my living with these genitals.
“I was a hairstylist before becoming an esthetician full time and I had to do a man’s brazilian. I’m about 90% sure he did porn or lewd modelling or something bc of his body and how exact and picky he was. He requested me to apply wax directly, pull it tight, and rip it off. Then he asked me to sit there, and tweeze any hairs I missed. I don’t wax below the neck anymore.” – llethallan
14. Horror movie..
“Two or three layers of skin came off with the hair, it was on a guys genitals and there was a lot of blood and yelling.” – Muppouni
15. An early frontrunner for this year’s Darwin Awards.
“This was waxing myself, not others, but once I tripped while carrying a hot jar of wax. I was naked as I was about to wax myself and just got a new sofa. In the split second of tripping for some mystifying reason I decided that instead of letting the wax get on the new sofa I’d put my body under the spillage. I ended up with scalding hot wax stuck to my stomach area. It burned me and as I have a pretty deep belly button, took a while to cool. I couldn’t move in this period as I didn’t want to spill the wax more.
When it had cooled I had to spend 2 hours slowly detaching the wax from my burned skin and tiny stomach hairs that it had welded to. I was half laughing at my stupidity and half crying at the pain. My mum called during and couldn’t stop laughing at me.” – katyvs1
h/t: Bloomjoy Collective