You would think that a funeral is an occasion during which everyone in attendance is on their best behavior. After all, the people who are hosting the funeral have literally just lost a loved one. The last thing they need is to deal with an unruly guest. In an ideal world we wouldn’t even be able to write an article like this, because everybody would be super chill at funerals.
But this isn’t an ideal world, this is our world, and in real life people act like jackasses at funerals all the time. A Redditor recently posted an Ask Reddit thread asking folks to share the most boorish and disruptive things they’ve witnessed at funerals, and there were many, many responses. Scroll down and see how not to behave when someone’s died.
1. Eh, nobody will notice.
“The funeral home putting a random guy in my grandfathers casket, suit, glasses, and wedding band…while then admitting that they had misplaced my grandfather was fairly inappropriate for a funeral.” – jsa2434
2. Pour one out for your homies.
“At an open casket wake, a friend of the deceased attempted to give her a drink of single malt whiskey. She ended up being forcibly removed as she wouldn’t stop and spilled a lot of the alcohol in the casket. It was as horrible and inappropriate as it was heartbreaking – for everyone.” – ohenry0923
3. GO VOLS! WOOOOOO!
“At my great-grandmother’s funeral, her son showed up to the funeral wearing khakis and his bright orange Tennessee Volunteers shirt. Then he started yelling at my mom when she asked him who the pallbearers were going to be, mainly throwing a fit about who was in the will… Mind you we hadn’t even left the funeral home yet and were literally needing to know who they would be at that very moment.” – Ranku_Abadeer
4. He’s dead. It’s not like he’s using it!
“When my dad’s mom passed away, there were a lot of people there, he comes from a family of 11, (10 now as his sister passed away a while ago), so there were a lot of nieces, nephews and cousins. It was an open casket, I was around 12-13, but everyone was grabbing things from her/off her from the casket, all the aunts grabbing things for their kids who don’t even know her/remember who she is/way too young. The ONLY thing my dad has a keepsake of his mother is a little rose pin that she wore in the home she was in before she passed. It’s unfortunate and makes me feel very sad for my dad.” – WanderingFaerie
5. The priest with the least.
“At my grandfather’s funeral, the stand-in, curmudgeonly pastor kept calling my grandfather by the wrong name.
Pastor: we are here to memorialize the life of John Smith.
<Crowd looks confused.> Pastor: John Smith lived a good life. I had never personally met John Smith, but My Spouse Loudly: Well, I’ve never met John Smith either. His name was Bob White.
Everyone attending burst out laughing.” – TooManyDogsHere
6. Respect the hustle.
“The lady who convinced my mother to ditch chemo and use essential oils, handed put biz cards at her funeral.” – Miablossom
7. Who invited Aunt Liza?
“At my grandpa’s funeral in 2006 a random drunk woman that no one in our family knew stumbled in and started singing show tunes, then crying til she was escorted out.” – meowkait
8. Always make an entrance.
“A narcissistic family member arrived late (after everyone else was at the graveside for the burial, and probably lurking behind a tomb to pick the perfect time after the priest had just started talking), wearing an enormous hat and sunglasses and low cut gown like she was attending the Golden Globes red carpet or something, and loudly making an absolute scene of how devastated she was, daaaaaarlings and just generally making it all about her.” – Zhirrzh
9. TMI, TMI, TMI.
“I was at my then boyfriend’s friend’s funeral. Her aunt sat with me at the back and told me that she spontaneously lubricates at funerals. Scooched away reeeeaaalll quick.” – Newhomeworld
“My brother in laws girlfriend locked her self in a car, cried and screamed threatening to kill herself.. AT my father in laws funeral. She was fine five minutes later and explained to my in law she did it because she’s not used to not having all the attention (she thought her being pregnant would make people forget that the father died?)” – strangeraej
11. What’s your favorite Snapchat filter for a corpse?
“My ex came back from her grandfather’s funeral (I had to work) with family reunion pictures of herself, her siblings, and her parents… posing next to the open casket.
When I casually commented that I thought it was a little off, she explained that they did so because, ‘Grandma otherwise wouldn’t believe he died.'” – JargonPhat
12. Like a bad penny, that one relative always turns up.
“Picture if you will, two elderly women in a funeral squaring up as people are still crying from the ceremony.
At the lunch after my grandpa’s funeral, his daughter from a previous marriage “Dee” who no one had seen in years showed up. Dee had been writing bad checks all the way to the state prison and had definitely had some unresolved beef with my family when she got out. The last time my mom saw her was when was 11 and Dee left her infant daughter for my mom to babysit and never came back, Fast forward to the funeral, Dee is acting like it’s a family reunion but no one is having it since she’s basically screwed everyone in the room in one way or another. My grandpa’s last girlfriend, a legally blind woman tried to physically fight her until others stepped in.” – PlebCityBaby
13. Why do I keep picturing the “clowns” as Juggalos?
“My mum and sister were smoking weed at my cousins funeral. He was only 16 when he died, so there were lots of kids there as well. My mum also wanted to surprise everyone by sending clowns to said funeral, who were going to paint butterflies on their faces because my cousin died of Epidermolysis Bullosa (Known as butterflies disease).” – dontreallyknowwhyw
14. I am shocked–shocked–that drugs were involved in this story.
“A relative of my husband died.
There was a gathering at her house after the funeral, hosted by her husband. It was mostly family of my husband, but there were a few friends. There was catered food and drink and people were just general socializing and telling nice stories about the deceased.
About two hours in, a man and woman in their mid-20’s show up. They are acquaintances of the widower. They walk around the house a bit, grab a drink and then disappear.
I was asked to get some more drinks from the garage, which was off the kitchen. I opened the door and stepped into the garage.
There was the young couple, leaning against a car and engaging is some pretty vigorous sexual relations.
Another family member who was standing in the kitchen saw what I saw. I backed out of the garage because I was fairly embarrassed. I mean, who does that at a funeral?
I guess the other relative told the widower because the next thing I know there is shouting from the garage and the widower is telling these two people in no uncertain terms that they needed to leave.
Apparently, not only were they having sex in the garage, but they were doing lines of coke off the hood of the car.
Only a few people who were at the gathering found out what happened, thank goodness.” – awhq
15. But remember: one person’s “inappropriate” is another person’s “good time.”
“We had a snowball fight outside the parlor of my pop pops funeral…
Pop pop would have approved. The non-family mourners seemed horrified.” – iamcurrentlyp00pin
h/t: Bloomjoy Collective