Dads, dads, dads. Aren’t they the best? They provide for us, they’re always there when we need them…and sometimes they can be really funny.
These fellas are definitely proof of that.
Enjoy!
1. When you put it that way…
You just go sleep in the close then. Thank you!
[bed time]
Me: Your mom told you to stay in bed.
3-year-old: There's a scary monster in my closet
Me: Scarier than Mom?
3: *goes to bed*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 28, 2016
2. Mom’s in on it as well.
That is a brilliant plan. Will destroy child’s confidence. 10/10.
https://twitter.com/thenatewolf/status/632674037253058560?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E632674037253058560&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.someecards.com%2Flife%2Fnews%2Flol%2F
3. Put the marker down!
Step away from the ink! Slowly!!!
I'm at my most hostage negotiator when I see my 3 year old holding a permanent marker without the lid.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 21, 2014
4. Oh, no!
That’s a spicy meatball!
[At dinner]
Daughter: Daddy, how much of this meatball is meat?
Me: Probably like 90%
D: So it's 10% balls?
Me: *spits out food*— Tim (@Playing_Dad) January 3, 2016
5. Keep your eyes closed tightly.
Who needs light anyway?
My son can now reach the light switches so don't come over my house unless you're really into raves or want to have a seizure.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) February 21, 2013
6. Oh, thank you!
Why are you touching my face, though?
5: daddy can I tell you a secret?
Me: sure thing buddy
5: *grabs my face and whispers* I just pooped and I didn't wash my hands
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) June 9, 2015
7. Now I’m up.
Leave that alone, kid!
[5:45 AM, in a harsh whisper]
Daddy, don't worry, you can sleep. I'm making my own breakfast, how do you turn on the oven?
Me: I'm up.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 21, 2015
8. Sounds like a genius.
One of those special kinds!
My 2-y-o can figure out how to work the TV remote, but can't find his mouth while eating spaghetti.
— Matt Brennan (@SpiralingMatt) June 14, 2015
9. Two peas in a pod.
I hear it skips a generation, so…
My youngest is being tested for the gifted program at his elementary school and my other son thinks his toothbrush is haunted.
— eEric (@ericsshadow) March 25, 2016
10. Not playing around anymore.
Go ahead and mess with my search history. I dare you.
https://twitter.com/Gooooats/status/700411661933375488?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E700411661933375488&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.someecards.com%2Flife%2Fnews%2Flol%2F
11. Kids know what they want.
The other white meat!
Me: I made pork.
3yo: I don't like pork.
Me: It's chicken.
3yo: Oh, yeah, I like that kind of chicken.#Parenting #PickyEater #Win— Dave Lesser (@AmateurIdiot) September 1, 2015
12. Keeping our fingers crossed.
Any day now, we’re sure somebody will want you. Just not us.
Son: am I adopted?
Me: not yet, but we're hopeful.
— Lloyd Rang (@lloydrang) June 26, 2013
13. Dear old Dad.
Is Ryan Reynolds the best at dad tweeting, or what?
I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 11, 2015
14. They need to learn!
You can’t expect to do something like get a bowl of ice cream without understanding progressive taxation!
Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) September 4, 2011
Alright, so those were definitely some knee-slappers, right? I’m seriously LOLing at that Ryan Reynolds one. What a brave guy!
So now we want to hear from all of you. Yes, you with the dad faces!
Share your best dad joke or funny dad story in the comments! We’d love to hear from you!