If you’ve never noticed how every single totally crazy (US) (non-political) news story comes out of either Ohio or Florida, well…you won’t be able to help it, now. There are many, many stories that begin with “Florida man…” and go on to recount some sordid, horrible, or unbelievably idiotic tale, and below are 15 of my personal favorites, compiled from a Twitter account called simply (but brilliantly) “Florida Man.”

#15. Advertising error.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#14. Sharp as a tack.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#13. My guess is he was thinking “hell no I got enough babies.”

Photo Credit: Twitter

#12. Assault with a delicious weapon.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#11. Real life angry birds.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#10. I mean I guess it all worked out.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#9. I mean you have to LOL.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#8. When your friends are taking way too long.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#7. Oh, bless his heart.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#6. I mean…

Photo Credit: Twitter

#5. That squirrel did not give consent to be photographed, apparently.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#4. I hope he was charged with animal cruelty, too.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#3. Darwin Awards.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#2. When you just miss your buds.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#1. Again. *dying*

Photo Credit: Twitter