Let’s face some hard truths: you’re single. I’m single. We’re all SINGLE.
True, it can get pretty lonely and depressing…
But keep your heads up, there’s someone out there for all of us…I think…
1. Keep it moving.
Life is short. If you have a crush on someone, walk right up to them then a little past them and just keep going it’s probably not worth it
— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) April 20, 2018
2. OH MY GOD.
I JUST ASKED SIRI IF A CERTAIN BOY WOULD EVER TEXT ME AND SHE SENT A TEXT SAYING WILL YOU EVER TEXT ME TO HIM. My funeral will be held at 8pm this Thursday.
— Ceci ✮ (@CeciMula) January 17, 2018
3. This is already over.
date: I'll try the margherita flatbread
waiter: and for you sir?
me: (don't get anything weird) hot salad
— Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) February 1, 2018
4. Might be walking into a hell-hole.
Dating apps should require people to upload photos of their apartment so you know what you're getting yourself into.
— Hannah Orenstein (@hannahorens) March 21, 2018
5. We’re done!
Him: *dabs pizza grease with napkin
Me: i think we should see other people
— Olive Gravy (@offbeatoliv) January 26, 2018
6. Not gonna work for me.
I was on tinder for like a week then I got off tinder cuz everyone on there was in to hiking.
— Patrick Gill (@Pizza_Suplex) May 10, 2018
7. This is way worse.
opened a DM picture from a man expecting it to be a dick pic but it was a poem, which is somehow worse
— rose ? (@roselyddon) May 10, 2018
[at a loud bar]
HIM: [yelling] DO U HAVE ANY PLANS AFTER THIS?
HER: [also yelling] YES I DO ACTUALLY HAVE PLANTS THAT I KISS
— #3 Garfield Fan Account (@cwhudson) December 8, 2015
9. Maybe you should come up with some new material?
“What do you pay for electricity?” – me on a date
— michael svetich (@michaelsvetich) May 10, 2018
10. I wonder why…
“I have 13k followers on my Football Twitter account” is what I said to the lady on a first date when she asked me what I do for a living. She won’t call me back for some reason.
— Xav Salazar (@XavsFutbol) May 12, 2018
11. Might’ve stepped over the line.
Guy: I like a girl who's good with money
Me: the city will bury you for FREE if they can't identify your body
— sarah schauer ? (@SJSchauer) May 8, 2018
12. Get ready for the gun show.
[on a first date]
Her: I don’t like guns
Me: *casually unrolls my t-shirt sleeves*
— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) May 10, 2018
13. On again, off again.
Dating apps should show you how many times someone has deleted the app so we know who's really losing their mind.
— Jared Freid (@jtrain56) June 8, 2017
14. That’s hot.
been single so long I just get into arguments with myself now…. gotta keep the relationship exciting
— Because I'm a Guy (@CauseWereGuys) April 22, 2017
15. These shoes are 10 years old.
HER: had any long term relationships?
ME: ya I've had these shoes forever
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) May 18, 2018
Don’t get too depressed.
Get on your phone, fire up Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and all the other apps and put yourself out there!