Ain’t married life grand…?
I mean, besides the bickering, the passive-aggressive behavior, the fighting, etc.
I’m talking about everything else that comes along with marriage.
The people behind these tweets definitely have some strong (and hilarious) feelings about their marriages. Let’s see what’s going on with these folks…
1. Uh oh…
[pulling my wife out of the sewer]
her: this is why you have to put the toilet seat down
— ❄️sleigh❄️clops (@aotakeo) October 10, 2019
2. Going through a hard time.
Please help. My husband just started running. He runs in jeans. With a belt. I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this. I am so alone.
— Tawny Newsome (@TrondyNewman) October 16, 2019
3. It’s called a “media break.”
My wife just got mad at me for fast forwarding through a commercial because she wanted to use that time to look at her phone.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) October 11, 2019
4. Fighting over the dog.
Me: The dog gives me more attention because he loves me the most.
Husband: No, it's because you’re constantly dropping food on the floor.
— Jingle Bell Jawbreaker ? (@sixfootcandy) October 14, 2019
5. A power struggle.
Marriage isn’t weird at all…
*hoards the last nine Q-tips
— ? (@W0nderW0manW0w) October 15, 2019
6. You made the right move.
I convinced my spouse we needed more “security” but mostly I wanted a video doorbell on our backdoor so I could watch live streams of our dogs all day.
— Betty Spork-ghetti (@BoomBoomBetty) October 16, 2019
7. You look great!
My tween asked me how she looked today and I replied great without looking at her and I’ve officially turned into my husband.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 7, 2019
8. Won’t do that again.
“You already told me” is not the best way to end a conversation with your wife. I know that now.
— Aunt Chelle ? ?? ?️? (@ravenswng_) October 14, 2019
9. How deep is your trust?
My wife claims she trusts me, and yet she will always inspect a carton of eggs I pick out.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) October 15, 2019
10. Clearly not listening.
*Thunder, lightning and buckets of rain outside the window*
Spouse: “Hand me my phone so I can check the weather.”
— TuSoon Shakur (@TuSoonShakur) June 2, 2018
[Driving through Iowa]
Husband: look to your right
Me: *sees mile marker 69* ha, nice
Husband: looks like a Grant Wood painting, doesn't it?
Me: oh.. yes, very much
— Uncle Jeff (@PickleRudd) October 6, 2019
12. Gonna be a great vacation.
Me packing for a 3 day trip: 3 sets of clothing
My wife packing for a 3 day trip: 8 sets of clothing, 4 books, and a puppy
— Bart (@bartandsoul) October 4, 2019
13. Not going anywhere.
Husband, “I’ve got two tickets to paradise…”
Me, “Shall I pack my bags? We’ll leave tonight!”
Husband, “We’ve waited so long. Waited so long.”
Me, “We really aren’t doing anything fun at all this weekend are we?”
Husband, “Absolutely not.”
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) October 4, 2019
14. Now that’s WEIRD!
My husband and I might be weird, but at least we're not sit-on-the-same-side-of-the-booth weird.
— Barbie (@barbie_miller1) September 13, 2019
15. Oh, you can do that!
I just learned that my wife has “house socks” and “public socks” and I didn’t even know you could do that.
— Avogadro’s House of Moles (@schumoo) October 17, 2019
Have you tied the knot?
If so, tell us your funniest marriage story in the comments!