One thing in this life is certain: the older you get, the more your hangovers hurt. Like, hurt really badly. It’s not bad at all when you’re in your early 20s and you can pound a bunch of drinks and be at work at 8 a.m.
But the older you get? NG = NO GOOD. You’re in pain for three days, you call your mom crying about how your life went down the toilet and you can barely function.
You do that too, right? Or is that just me…?
Either way, enjoy these tweets about boozin’ and losin’!
1. Why are you ruining my life?
Drunk me is so determined to embarrass me. I am so good to her, i put her in cute little outfits and and get her ready and what does she do?? She ruins me
— Gråçë (@garrcie) July 6, 2019
2. I got nervous, okay?
Last night I was dancing with a girl and I told her I needed to pee but instead ran 2 miles home in the middle of the night by myself. Why? Cuz I was nervous and drunk me thought it was a completely normal thing to do.
— sarah schauer 🦂 (@SJSchauer) June 30, 2019
3. You gotta stay hydrated.
My hungover ass waking up at 4 am to chug water. pic.twitter.com/iZJ3CI4Fa4
— Drunk Posts (@durnkposts) July 28, 2019
4. You broke the seal.
Drunk me: “i GoTtA pEe AgAiN yAlL” 🤣🤣🥺🥺🥴🥴🥴
— 𝑀𝒾𝓈𝓈𝓎🌻 (@Sweetthingumm) February 2, 2019
5. Just keep repeating that over and over.
When you’re at a party drunk as fuck and somebody’s telling you a long story. pic.twitter.com/ddMwmmuaie
— Drunk Posts (@durnkposts) August 21, 2019
6. That is a wonderful idea.
every time i’m drunk my brain’s like “hey u know what would be a GREAT idea?? if you followed this guy you think is hot on instagram and liked a pic from 3 months ago” like can you fucking chill drunk me
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) July 5, 2018
7. You needed that.
I am… so in love. drunk me really knows how to online shop for sober me <3 pic.twitter.com/xDdNt67caA
— alldrawn (@alldrawn) March 14, 2019
8. Going all out.
drunk me would pay $56 for a vodka cran in a tiny plastic cup
— James (@CaucasianJames) March 10, 2019
9. You don’t need to see that.
drunk me deleted my bank app after checking my balance, idk what he saw but I trust his decision entirely.
— rosa drives (@chirpsehurts) May 29, 2019
10. That’s definitely YOU.
drunk me isn’t bad per se she just runs her mouth a bit. i’d compare her to Hagrid whenever he’d spill some tea to Harry Potter and then he’d say “shouldn’t’ve have said that. I should not have said that” yeah that’s me
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) October 19, 2018
11. Oh, wait a second…
drunk me: i will develop the netflix for books, ooo imma be rich
sober me: that's a library
— ziwe (@ziwe) March 10, 2017
12. I have no idea what you’re talking about.
If drunk me did something or said something, you gotta take that up with drunk me. Don’t come at sober me cuz we weren’t there, we don’t know what happened
— Austin⚡️Graham (@AustingrahamZ1) April 18, 2019
13. I’ll be there soon!
Me: I’m done drinking for a while.
Friend: come over I bought a bottle
— Drunk Posts (@durnkposts) August 13, 2019
14. Let’s get to the bottom of this.
When you’re hungover af but hear your roommates talking about the night before in the living room pic.twitter.com/ZwFIpMohZS
— Drunk Posts (@durnkposts) July 25, 2019
15. Tiptoeing the tight rope.
My drunk ass walking home from the bar pic.twitter.com/Jinkas3xcO
— Drunk Posts (@durnkposts) July 13, 2019
Some of those tweets physically hurt me for some reason.
Bottoms up! But take it slow…okay?