Marriage is a beautiful partnership between two people that is meant to be fulfilling in so many ways…or something like that.
It can also be a hilarious series of episodes of fighting, making up, fighting again, arguing, and so on and so forth.
Here are 15 hysterical marriage tweets that should tide you over for a while.
1. Honey, you’re the best…
My wife puts groceries on the conveyor belt like there may be an award for most organized.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 30, 2020
2. Embrace this role!
I don’t care what my husband says, technically he is a brother-in-law to my mom’s dog.
— Darla (@ddsmidt) February 6, 2020
3. Not good anymore.
Husband: I’d like to cash in one of the massage coupons you gave me last year for Valentine’s Day.
Me: I’m sorry, those are now expired. This isn’t Bed Bath and Beyond.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) February 8, 2020
4. You sir, are a genius.
Me: I can’t fall asleep at night
Doctor: Okay, right after you lay down for sleep, ask your wife how her day was and that should fix it
— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) February 5, 2020
5. A crucial part of any marriage.
Unsolicited marriage advice for the day:
Get your own comforter.
— Your Favorite Gay Mom🌈 (@lezzimomof2) February 9, 2020
6. Eyes in the back of her head.
ME: *sets down anything*
WIFE: [from the other room] please don’t leave that there
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) February 1, 2020
7. Got out of that one!
Me: Want me to go grocery shopping?
Wife: NO. I’ll do it. All you do is text me questions the whole time.
Husbanding level: Expert.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 8, 2020
8. That’s love, baby.
I’m at the point in my marriage where I can’t tell if my husband is reaching towards my face to caress it or to remove crumbs from the side of my mouth.
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) February 2, 2020
9. Sick burn!
Me: I burnt my tongue and lost all sense of taste.
Wife: That explains the cargo shorts.
— The Dad (@thedad) February 6, 2020
10. No eating in bed.
https://twitter.com/VisionBored1/status/1224671122811211781
11. Your timing is perfect.
My wife and I are sitting on the couch for hours, I get up and walk into the bathroom. My wife runs in ahead of me and says "Wait, I have to pee."
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) February 8, 2020
12. Sweet revenge…
Due to personal reasons, I’ll be flushing the toilet every time my husband showers this week.
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) January 29, 2020
13. It’s that one.
*fan turns on*
*foyer light goes off*
Wife: the middle one
Me: finally turns on the living room light in the house we’ve lived in for over a decade.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 2, 2020
14. The story of life.
A wise man once said "you're right" to his wife.
They lived happily ever after.
— *Lady V* (@tanbotha24) February 8, 2020
15. You’re in big trouble.
Me [opening laptop]: What's our computer password?
Wife: It's our anniversary date.
Me: Ohhh.
Wife:
Me:
Wife: You have no idea, do you?
Me [closing laptop]: Yes of course I just don't want to use the computer anymore.— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 6, 2020
Funny. Painful. Accurate. Right on the money.
Married folks out there: do these tweets remind you of your own sacred union?
Tell us all about it in the comments!