Okay, moms and dads, it’s time for another installment of “Tell Us What’s Going on in Your Household and How Are You Still Holding Onto Your Sanity!”
Does this sound like a game show you could probably be on right now?
I think I heard someone out there say YES!
We feel you, friends! Times are tough and, at least for now, there is no escape from those little hell-raisers that you share a house with.
So what can you do?
Well, you can always get on Twitter and spill your guts a little bit to other parents.
You’ll laugh! You’ll cry! …And then you’ll probably cry some more.
So take a little break from the kiddos and have a few laughs, okay?
1. Funny how that works, huh?
You’re gonna be surprised by a lot of things…
Until I became a parent I never thought I would hear another human cry, because they stomped their own hands
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 6, 2020
2. A real wiseguy.
Well, time to teach him a lesson.
I asked my son to turn down his music and he 'okayed boomer' me so now we're turning off the wi-fi for a bit
— Bonerfide Killer🌺 (@Alohababe2011) August 4, 2020
3. This is not enjoyable.
In fact, it’s very offensive.
https://twitter.com/MommaUnfiltered/status/1290788332809723904?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1290788332809723904%7Ctwgr%5E&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.huffpost.com%2Fentry%2Ffunniest-parenting-tweets_l_5f28bbc9c5b68fbfc886e56c
4. Oh…I forgot about that.
But still, that’s progress.
Me: I've been so patient and I haven't yelled at the kids once today
Husband: The kids have been at your mom's house all day
— Christina Crawford (some people call me Maurice) (@Xtina_Crawford) August 4, 2020
5. You did this!
I can’t believe you would stoop this low!
My kids counted one less snail in their fish tank so now they’re crying, pointing at me because I’ve told them I tried a snail once at a fancy restaurant on vacation, some 20 years back.
— Ms. Havisham (@MissHavisham) August 1, 2020
6. This might be right up your alley!
So give it a shot!
if you can spend most of the day turning off lights and closing cabinet doors that you have just turned off and closed then motherhood might be for you
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) August 3, 2020
7. Just like Scarface.
This is really not good.
My four year old loves eating sugar. I don't mean candy or sweets–I just walked in the kitchen and found him wrist-deep in the sugar jar, his face and shirt dusted white, like some Nickelodeon version of Tony Montana getting high on his own supply.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 6, 2020
8. Good for you…?
Next time, keep it to yourself, okay?
Take your kid swimming so they can LOUDLY exclaim that they just peed in the water.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) August 6, 2020
9. We should take that off at some point…
Just a thought…
Baby proofing is great because your kids solve it in 6 months but it stays on your cabinets, drawers, and outlets for another 10 irritating years.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) August 4, 2020
10. DO NOT ENTER.
You might need a padlock.
[any time my family enters the room when I’m working]
– are you on a call?
– is it a video call?
– are you on mute?
– is it the kind where you have to pay attention?
– are you even awake?— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) August 6, 2020
11. You think that’s late?!?!
You have a lot to learn.
Friend: My kids have been going to bed so late this summer!
Me: Ugh, mine too. How late do yours go to bed?
Friend: Well last night it was like 9—
Me: *hysterical laughter*— SpacedMom (@copymama) August 2, 2020
12. That’s pretty good.
We have an entertainer on our hands.
5: Mommy, why do girls wear bras?
Me: To support their boobies.
5: No, they’re trapping their boobies. They’re booby traps. *cracks herself up*
I’m raising a comedian.
Also, she’s not wrong.— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) August 3, 2020
13. You’re gonna learn.
It’s all true!
A few years into being a parent you discover there is virtually zero difference between the sound of siblings happily playing together and the sound of siblings viciously trying to murder each other.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) August 20, 2020
Alright, all you moms and dads out there, now it’s your turn!
Tell us all about the action that’s going on inside your homes with your kids. We want the good. We want the bad. And we want the REALLY bad.
Talk to us in the comments!