Hi, moms and dads!
If my calculations are correct, right about now you should be hiding in the bathroom, looking for a few moments of relief and solitude while your children…do whatever children do.
I’m right, aren’t I? I knew it!
Well, we want to make that private time as enjoyable as possible, so we’re here to provide you with some hilarious tweets about parenting that we think you’ll love!
Go ahead and enjoy them! You deserve it!
1. Oh, boy…here we go.
Listen, our bodies are changing…
Had to explain to my toddler why his 13yo cousin has changed lately, now when he sees someone upset or crying he goes “puberty?”
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) October 27, 2020
2. That worked out just fine.
That’s using your head!
3 unravelled an entire toilet roll when I wasn’t looking so I wrapped him in it, stood him in the corner of the bathroom and told him to spin round slowly when someone needs to use it
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) October 20, 2020
3. Get back in there!
Nice try, buddy.
Me: Did you brush your teeth?
4-year-old: Yes.
Me: All of them?
4: *stomps back into the bathroom*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 9, 2020
4. Just be quiet, okay?
Oh, they’ll be fine! They’re having a great time!
https://twitter.com/Gupton68/status/1317798262003425281?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1317798262003425281%7Ctwgr%5Eshare_3%2Ccontainerclick_1&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.huffpost.com%2Fentry%2Ffunniest-parenting-tweets_l_5f8f9dd8c5b6b005f5f0bf7b
5. Not getting the message, are they?
Well, this isn’t going great right now.
What I say: Be ready, we are leaving in five minutes.
What the child hears: Get undressed. Start finger painting. Lose at least one shoe.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) October 10, 2020
6. That doesn’t sound like much fun.
Hey, I’m just being honest here.
Buy your toddler clothes with lots of snaps and buttons if you’ve ever thought it would be cool to do a puzzle that tries to kick you and run away while you solve it
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) October 20, 2020
7. You asked for it!
What did you think was gonna happen, dude?
The downside of being sarcastic parents is you get sarcastic kids
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) October 13, 2020
8. This kid is really smart.
You have a genius on your hands.
6-year-old: I know the life cycle of a turtle.
Me: What's the first stage?
6: Eggs.
Me: What's the last stage?
6: Ninjas.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 15, 2020
9. That sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Your wife made a huge tactical error.
my wife just grounded all kids from electronics and tv for 4 days and if you need me i'll be living anywhere else but here.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 4, 2020
10. I have a feeling I know the answer.
It’s C, isn’t it? ISN’T IT?
Let's play a game.
What item did my almost 3yo bring into our bed.
A: A teddy bear
B: A blanket
C: A @$!&*'n toilet brush
— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) October 21, 2020
11. Some major mixed messages here.
Those darn kids!
What I say: "don’t do that it’s dangerous"
What my toddler hears: "prove to me you’re not a coward"
— The Dad (@thedad) October 2, 2020
12. Never heard that one before.
We’re always learning, aren’t we?
My 5yo not wanting to brush her hair because her “hair is tired” is on another level of excuse that I think we can all learn from.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) October 3, 2020
13. Not a big fan of Karina either.
I agree with the 3-year-old on this one.
Yesterday I asked 3 how pre school was and she told me she didn’t like Karina because Karina cries really loudly so I said maybe Karina’s sad and 3 should be kind to her but at pick up today I heard Karina crying really loudly and now I don’t like her either
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) October 7, 2020
Okay, parents, now we want to hear from you.
In the comments, tell us how everything is going in your house these days.
Please and thank you!