Hey o!
Are you ready to make your day just a little bit better?
We thought you’d be agreeable to that proposition!
So go ahead and dig in to these tweets so you can get your day moving in the right direction.
Have a great day!
1. You had to punish yourself for that.
I think you did the right thing to atone for your sins.
Once, a guy on the subway asked if he could transfer here & I said yes (guessing, confident) then he got off & realized I was wrong. He got back on & glared at me until I got off at the next stop to punish myself
— Dan Perlman (@danjperlman) October 25, 2021
2. Sadly, it’s not the way the world works…
If only we could go back to those days.
I wish we could make friends as adults the way we did when we were kids. why can’t I just walk up to someone like “look at this rock it looks like a potato” and suddenly we’re best friends
— Sahana Srinivasan (@sahana_srini) October 26, 2021
3. Someone has to come up with this sooner or later.
Maybe it could be you!
https://twitter.com/lovedoveclarke/status/1452352177104728077?s=20
4. That’s not creepy at all.
Stay as far away from that kid as possible.
I saw a 6 year old girl at the playground who CAUGHT A SPARROW IN HER HAND and her mom was like "oh yeah, she does that, I wish she'd stop."
The most logical explanation is that I'm a supporting character in a middle grade novel.
— Sarah W. Jaffe (@Sarahwinifred) October 24, 2021
5. I like this plan a lot!
Just keep saying NO over and over again!
this year I'm taking part in NO-vember (pronounced "november") where I will be saying no to everything, go away
— Dan Hett (@danhett) October 25, 2021
6. Truer words have never been spoken.
Sunday is all about dread and anxiety.
Sunday you don’t even rest, you spend most of it scared of Monday.
— martha (@mxmsworld) October 24, 2021
7. I’m pretty sure skin is an organ.
I’m not a doctor, but…
Skin is an organ https://t.co/yxiDsBSNBM
— Buttercup 💚 (@izuhbelleS) October 25, 2021
8. You better believe it!
This is a war I can get behind.
https://twitter.com/ntferny/status/1452385737568043011?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1452385737568043011%7Ctwgr%5E%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.someecards.com%2Fnews%2Fnews%2F17-funny-tweets-give-laugh-today-3755135%2F
9. I knew that baby was bad news from the beginning.
Can’t trust that kid…
You say your baby is 13 months? I hate to break it to you, but there are only 12 months. Your baby is lying to you
— alexandria i guess (@alexfromoakland) October 24, 2021
10. Just pay this guy whatever he’s asking for.
I can’t deal with this right now!
I will be releasing my rendition of Bright Eyes’ “First Day of my Life” recorded on a MacBook photo booth in 2011…unless my demands are met
— Luke Mones (@LukeMones) October 24, 2021
11. I hear this.
You’re not alone, friend!
Don’t really drunk text but I’ll have two coffees on an empty stomach and send the most humiliating message of my life before 10am
— connor Wood (@fibulaa) November 16, 2021
12. You gotta keep that thing private so they can’t see what you’re really like!
That’s my friendly advice for the day.
When HR finds your Twitter account pic.twitter.com/n8h8MJbO1N
— the ben keeps the flores (@limitlessjest) November 20, 2021
Now we want you to make us laugh.
In the comments, please share some funny tweets that you think we’ll love.
We also like memes and jokes, too!
We look forward to it!