Before we get started, I’d like to say that I tip my hat to all the moms and dads out there working hard every day to raise the future of the world…because I sure as Hell couldn’t do it!
But we also have to let the moms and dads out there blow off a little bit of steam once in a while because they get stressed!
Like these tweets!
Take a look…
1. This is creepy.
This kid is maladjusted.
I was singing You Are My Sunshine to my 3 year old and he told me he hates that song. I said that’s a shame because I use to sing it to him when he was in my tummy before he was born and he looked me dead in the eyes and said “I hated it then too”.
— Alice Taylor-Matthews (@AliceTaylorM) December 12, 2021
2. We all want the itch back.
Have you heard this one before?
3yo threw a tantrum at 6.45am today because I scratched his back but he “want to be itchy. Give me my itch back. NO. I WANT MY ITCH BACK”
— DJB (@DJ_Barc) July 17, 2021
3. Keep an eye on that one.
She sounds dangerous.
My 3yo niece wants dead grapes.
Raisins, she wants raisins.
— ?ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ? (@3sunzzz) March 2, 2021
4. Your luggage is laughing.
What’s in there?!?!
I set out a suitcase to pack for my flight later today and spotted my 3 year old crawling inside it to hide. I casually zipped it up, yelled “I’M OFF TO THE AIRPORT, EVERYBODY!”, and carried it to the car. I’ve circled the block twice and my luggage hasn’t stopped laughing. pic.twitter.com/c6XVPMtOlF
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) June 25, 2021
5. Oh, never mind.
Sorry to bother you.
3yo: I love you.
Me: I love you, too.
3yo: I WAS TALKING TO MY BEAR!— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) March 5, 2021
6. I love it!
Totally accurate.
My daughter (age 3) drew the NYC subway map. The accuracy is astounding. pic.twitter.com/TELdfYm2Ig
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) May 11, 2021
7. Uh oh.
Gonna be a long day.
My 3 year old is SCREAMING because a car just like my wife’s passed us on the freeway and she wants to tell her hi. Did I mention that we just dropped my wife off at work? Did I mention that we are in my wife’s car?
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) April 7, 2021
8. Back to bed you go.
You’re not welcome here.
3-year-old daughter just took Play-Doh out of my hand and said very gently “You can’t play with this. It’s not propriate (sic) for adults.”
I’m going back to bed.
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) February 9, 2021
9. That’s pretty clever!
I’m gonna start using that.
My 3 year old daughter just called a hamburger a “flat meatball” and I’m already worried she’s smarter than I am
— Jon “Jon Baker” Baker (@JonBaker) July 16, 2021
10. Here we go…
You knew this was coming.
Me: Yes, you were in my belly.
3yo: Why…
*tears in her eyes*
…why did you eat me?— Renée Agatep (@GoingByRenee) November 3, 2021
How are things going in your house these days?
Talk to us in the comments and give us an update.
We’d love to hear from you!