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These Insult Tea Cups Will Say Everything You Wish You Could

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If you’ve never had proper high tea, take it from me: it’s a treat. Nothing will make you feel like a member of the decaying British aristocracy than a hot cuppa tea with some tasty finger sandwiches and scones. (Pronounced “scahns,” naturally.)

Yes, high tea is perfect. Except for one small problem: you’re not allowed to drop any F-bombs. Nothing will get you kicked out of the Harrod’s tea room faster than taking a sip of Earl Grey and shouting, “F*ck me! That is some tasty motherf*cking tea!”

But now, you can let all your tea swears fly without saying a single word, with a set of Insult Teacups from Miss Havisham’s Curiosities.

“A wise woman once told me, ‘If you got hate in your heart, you gotta let it out,'” said Melissa Johnson, the owner of Miss Havisham’s and the mastermind behind the epithet-laded tea set. “By far, our favorite way to release it is by stewing over a scalding cup of tea.”

Johnson, an animation producer with 20 year of experience, told Bored Panda that Insult Teacups started as a creative outlet. She’s drawn to both antiques and ironic juxtaposition, so when she came up with the idea of dainty tea sets printed with jarring insults, she knew she had to make it happen. And the Internet is glad she did.

Take a look at some of Johnson’s funniest Insult Teacups. And if you want your next tea party to feel more like a Friar’s Club roast, you can buy them at her website here.

1. Nothing’s better than tea with frenemies.

2. John the Baptist was a notoriously loud tea slurper.

3. Sometimes, you just gotta say it.

4. If you preface with the word “Kindly,” it’s not offensive!

5.  I’ll have a pot of English Breakfast, with a side of shattered self-esteem.

6. Just a friendly reminder!

7. It’s a badge of honor.

8. Breaking up with someone? Serve them tea in this cup instead.

9. Never forget your manners!

10. Now the tea AND the teacup will burn you.