People hurt themselves all the time. I always tell my friends, “If you get hurt, I’ll be the first to jump to help – after I have a good laugh of course.” Cause watching people hurt themselves in dumb ways is hilarious. As long as they’re ok, I mean.
Check out these 26 AskReddit users who shared stories of injuries we all definitely would have laughed at before going to make sure they were okay.
1. There’s that
I sat on the toilet too long and my legs fell asleep. I stood up, my leg buckled, and I went head first into the wall.
2. That escalated quickly
One time I tried to fart while playing online poker really late when my girlfriend was asleep. About half of the fart came out before I realized more was on its way out too. I caught that before it was too late and jumped up and started to run to the bathroom. I had headphones on, so as I yanked my head to the left, I pulled my computer tower over as I kicked a 25 lb weight on the floor, broke my toe, and then pooped all over myself.
I tried jumping over a bonfire, and I hit someone mid-air who had the same idea.
I won because I didn’t need 3 weeks in the burn unit; just a bottle of aloe vera cream.
4. Accurate description
I was laying under my sister’s bed messing around with her nail varnish. Just dipping the brush in and out if I remember right. I forgot about gravity though, and a drop of the varnish went in my eye. I can’t even describe the pain. If I had to try, I’d say it was like getting nail varnish in your eye.
My foreman was hammering some framing in place and had to knock the wood toward him. So he reached around and was swinging his hammer toward himself. It was a difficult angle and a tight fit, so he was swinging with a bit of velocity. He ended up missing and hitting himself in the forehead. He knocked himself out cold and left a big lump for everyone to see. No one has let him forget about it since. Whenever he asks the boss to do something, the boss says ‘Yeah, knock yourself out.’
The knife I was trying to cut a cucumber with wouldn’t cut, so I used my index finger to push down on the blade. I just assumed it was a blunt knife.
However, the knife was just upside-down. I cut my finger and had to get 4 stitches.
7. Twice – lol
As a child, I was messing around with the cigarette lighter in the family car. I ‘knew’ that once the lighter bit stopped being orange, that meant it must have cooled off. It hadn’t.
Burnt my thumb.
8. Double trouble
I climbed a tree when I was about 12, fell down, and broke my left arm.
A week or so later, my friends dared me to climb the same tree with my left arm in a cast up to my elbow. I actually got a branch higher than the first time. Then I fell down and broke my right arm.
Mum wasn’t happy about having to take me back to the hospital to get the other arm put in a cast!
9. Constant Reminder
I had finished ironing and wanted to check if the iron was still hot before putting it away. I was in a silly mood and I decided, for reasons which are still unknown to me, to check the temperature of the iron by putting my mouth over the top of it.
I ended up burning my bottom lip and tongue pretty bad. Luckily there was no permanent damage; unluckily, there was no chance of my brother (who was also there) ever letting me forget it.