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21 Teachers and Students Share the Most Sarcastic Responses They’ve Ever Heard at School

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I still remember my finest moment in high school. A teacher who was annoyed with me said, “If I hear another peep out of you, you’re gonna be in trouble.”

My response? “Peep peep.”

The classroom erupted in laughter. I was a LEGEND (for 5 seconds). It’s been downhill ever since.

Take a look at 21 of the best sarcastic responses that students and teachers shared on AskReddit.

1. Hey o!

I had a teacher tell a classmate “no drinks in class.” He got up from his seat, picked up the teachers drink, and deposited in the garbage with his drink. She sent him to the office.

2. Dishes

Back when I taught first grade, we were doing a writing assignment about Thanksgiving. The kids had to draw a picture of their family celebrating Thanksgiving, and then write about it. One little girl drew the table and chairs, and that was all. I knew she just didn’t feel like doing the work, so I tried to prompt her. I asked where the food and her family were, and she snapped right back with, “They’re washing the dishes.” Had to give her credit for coming up with a logical argument for not doing the work!

3. This kid rules

A kid in my math class would sleep on his desk. One day the teacher called on him to answer a problem on the chalk board. He woke up, solved the problem on the board with zero difficulty, and then just went back to sleep.

The teacher repeated the same thing a few times with similar results, and then just let him sleep the rest of the year.

4. Boom!

This really shy kid that doesn’t really speak much was getting picked on by this mean girl when the teacher tells her, “Be nice to him, he might be your boss someday.”

Without missing a beat he replies, “No thanks, I don’t want to be a pimp when I grow up.”

5. A real zinger

My history teacher would spend half the class making jokes directed at the students. One student in particular always took the jokes on the chin and never really made any comebacks.

Eventually, the teacher called him out and jokingly lectured him about standing up for himself. He ended his rant with “You’ve gotta be a man. You’ve gotta be like me.”

The student replied with: “Well which one? Do you want me to be a man or do you want me to be like you?”

6. Hello

We had a teacher that would always threaten to phone our home if we were misbehaving, but she promptly stopped after this:

Teacher: “What would your mother say if I called home right now?”

Student: “She would say hello.”

7. Crap

I’m not a teacher, but I had a friend in school who was always pretty dramatic. She actually did have IBS though. So we’re in this teacher’s class and she keeps asking to use the bathroom.

The teacher says no and my friend’s like, “I have IBS though!” and the teacher is like, “Tell me what those initials mean and I will let you go.”

So she screams “IT MEANS I HAVE TO CRAP” and takes off out of the room.