Vacations are always powder kegs just waiting to explode. Moms and dads fighting, kids screaming, teenagers acting like jerks. If you’re lucky, you have a nice trip that you’ll remember forever – but, let’s be honest, a lot of time it’s a total disaster.
These someecards users recount their disastrous vacation stories for our reading pleasure!
1. Camping = Not worth it
Months in advance, I booked and paid for a family camping trip on the coast of California for myself, my husband, and our four children, ages 7-14. A month before we were to leave our SUV broke down, needing more than $1,000 in repairs.
I broke the news to the kids that we couldn’t afford the trip after paying for the repairs and couldn’t get us all there in our smaller car, so we wouldn’t be going. They refused to accept the situation and shocked us by rallying together to come up with a plan. I had some stuff stored in the garage for yard sale so they went through the whole house cleaning all our closets, etc., and had a huge yard sale.
They raised over $500 for our trip. I was so proud on them! It was cutting it close with the budget, but we had to take them at this point. So we loaded up and went!
On the way there, my son’s stupid 14 year old girlfriend was threatening to break up with him because she was mad that he was leaving town. So he sat pouting the entire ride. Then the brakes on our “newly fixed” car overheated. We pulled off the road and there was nothing around, so we could do nothing but wait for them to cool off.
Well, I had to go to the bathroom. Bad. We had no other cover around, so my husband opened both of the passenger side doors and I squatted down between them. Of course a car came by right as I was doing my business. It wasn’t until they yelled and whistled that I realized I was squatting too low, and they could see EVERYTHING. Lovely.
We finally get there and open our tent to find mice had chewed holes all over it, so my husband patched it with the only thing he had, neon green zebra striped duct tape. All our neighbors had beautiful, high end looking tents. Our site looked like the ghetto! Then we decided to walk to the beach. That was when we found out that the beach was a several mile hike in high winds over sand dunes. The kids were all whining and one was crying from getting sand in her eye. It was not the relaxing beach vacation we were looking for, to say the least. I was pissed!
We finally went to bed. About midnight, someone pulled into the site next to us. The husband got out and started screaming at his wife and kicking dents into their car in front of their crying kids. I walked to bathroom and quickly alerted security. Well, they got the campsite number wrong and the security crew drove up our campsite and started yelling at MY husband, who was all confused. He finally pointed to the next camp site and they went over there. They spoke to them and everything quieted down and we went to sleep….only to be woken up by the (late to arrive) police about 2 am. Their drama basically kept us up all night!
It was miserable the rest of the weekend as well. We packed up and headed home finally. We took one of my husband’s famous “shortcuts’ and I got carsick from the winding roads. At one point the kids spotted a lost dog which they guilted us into chasing through the woods to try to save. We never did catch him, but I got several cuts trying to.
Then we almost ran out of gas and were sweating it for MILES. When we finally arrived at the gas station ON FUMES, my husband checked our bank account. Turns out we had an unexpected expense hit our checking account early and we didn’t have enough money to get gas to get home! We said a prayer and my husband swiped. Thank God it let him fill the tank! So we arrived home filthy, exhausted, stressed out, and with an overdrawn bank account. Haven’t been camping since!
2. Oh boy…
We just had our vacation to Padre Island ruined because the Department of Homeland Security busted down our doors, dumped out all our food and trashed our house.
We own a 2 story duplex [back at home]. They were interested in a renter who lived upstairs. There is no connection to our part of the house.
The only thing they found on him was a small amount of heroin. They kept the rest of the tenants in handcuffs while they searched the entire property, and supposedly found a “pipe bomb” which turned out to be an empty pipe! So we rush home and our tenant is out of jail before we even make it home.
3. Grandma Bully
This was back in 2003. My sister and I (ages 11 and 10) were sent on a highly anticipated and extremely rare vacation to visit our distant father and grandparents in Florida while our parents moved our household from WI to VT. We were supposed to have six beautiful, uninterrupted weeks with our Daddy. Stoked.
This trip lasted a week. During that week, my grandmother felt it necessary to bully my sister and I for choices ranging from not wearing our hair in braids to our desire to get the fifth Harry Potter book on the release date. She even criticized our desire to talk to our mother EVERY DAY, despite our father being four days late showing up.
Once he did show up, all hell managed to break loose. We could not understand why they needed to be so nasty to us and talk shit about our beloved mother to us, expecting us to join in. We didn’t. The trip ended with him threatening to leave us with CPS unless my mother picked us up THAT DAY. She ended up having to take a bus there to fetch us and we had to bus all the way back to VT.
We didn’t end up speaking to our father again for over five years, and we both consider ourselves estranged from the family now.
It’s all good though; Mama showed up with the fifth Harry Potter book for us to read on the way home!
4. Strip Club Hotel
When I was a child, my parents were fans of spontaneous weekend road trips. Friday after school, my parents packed the coolers, loaded the car and we were off. This was a time before cell phones, and no reservations had been made at any hotel. They had done this with us many times before and had no problem finding a place to stay during our trip.
11pm we arrive at our first stop, we are roughly 2 hours from home. No vacancies at any hotels. My mom asks the lady running the front deak of the 5th hotel we inquired into if there are any motels. THERE IS!! 10 minutes down the road and always have vacancies. My mom recalled a wink… My dad denied any winking. It is to be assumed she thought my dad was looking for a spot to hook up with my mother, my brother and I were waiting in the car.
This motel was connected to a strip club and had “hourly rates available”… I remember my mom screaming at us not to touch the walls or pull down the blankets! We did not stay for our complimentary breakfast. Thankfully, the rest of our mini weekend vacation ran smoothly staying at hotels with pools and clean bed sheets. I enjoy bringing up our motel stay just to watch my mom roll her eyes.
My dad had wanted to take us to the beach a weekend my mom had gone to work, my dad is a cheap man. He pulled up to a gas station, told us to get out and follow him around the gas station to where there was a steep hill that ran into the lake. Across the lake was the beach. My dad wanted my brother and I to swim across the lake to the beach so he wouldn’t have to pay for us to get into the beach and he would meet us there. My brother and I were excellent swimmers and it wasn’t a large lake, but I am petrified of frogs, turtles, fish. It wasn’t an enjoyable swim and I secretly have plotted revenge on my father.