Listen, we’re not here to tell you how to live your life, but we have to level with you…
We’ve been watching you and we believe that you need to read AND enjoy these hilarious tweets right this instant.
Are we being too bossy?
Well, if we’re coming off that way, we sincerely apologize…but this is serious business!
So go on and get started…you won’t regret it.
1. This is really starting to get ugly.
What are we supposed to do about this?!?!
the situation has worsened pic.twitter.com/lmK0ZQzYYw
— jamieloftus ? (@jamieloftusHELP) January 7, 2021
2. It’s about time he cleaned himself.
His fans could only take so much…
Kid Rock is trending. Did he bathe?
— Bart (@bartandsoul) December 1, 2019
3. I don’t think I’m qualified to talk about that.
Sorry…it’s just not gonna happen.
RELATIVE: You know about computers, right?
ME (has a degree in computer science): No
— Caitlin (@caithuls) February 28, 2018
4. Wouldn’t that be nice.
What is wrong with this country right now?
Maybe someday the Capitol can enjoy the same level of security as a box of Sudafed.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) January 7, 2021
5. I don’t think we’re on the right path.
Hey, I’m just being honest…
Every time I walk into a mens’ room and see guys huffing paint I’m like “yeah, no one’s doing shit about global warming, ever.”
— jordan (@nu_handen) July 24, 2021
6. Your dad sounds like a great guy.
Hey, he was just trying to educate himself.
After my dad died I brought his old computer to my apartment, the browser search history was just the word "pussy"
— personal anatomical (@collnsmith) January 3, 2021
7. Let’s hope it’s #3…
The other options don’t seem too pleasant.
My top 3 assumptions when the doorbell rings:
2. Police telling me everyone is dead
3. The book I ordered about positive thinking
— ᴘɪᴘᴘɪ_ʟᴏɴɢ_sᴛᴏᴄᴋɪɴɢ (@SarahSurgey1) January 2, 2021
8. Welcome to the neighborhood!
Oh, wait…let’s go to Chili’s instead…
Applebee's isn't fucking around pic.twitter.com/I7dSbWJGY1
— Dr Noid MD (@HamOfTreachery) January 2, 2021
9. Just go ahead and post away!
You know you’re gonna do it anyway.
"Before posting each tweet, I ask myself: Does it bring me joy? Will it bring joy to others? I never wait for the answer." – @dorsalstream
— Robert Kodingo, MPRSK™ (@RKodingo) March 28, 2017
10. Oh, that’s a nice thing to hear!
Might be time to hit the road.
hey my girlfriend saw you from across the bar and we hate your vibe. she’s gonna beat the shit out of you
— trash jones (@jzux) January 2, 2021
11. Oh, I’m definitely already interested.
What else you got?
waiter: can i interest you in some tacos?
me: thanks but i'm already interested in them
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) January 4, 2019
12. What’s in it for me?
Doesn’t really seem like a good deal.
How am I supposed to concentrate when I do not wish to and there are no immediate rewards
— Daniel Kibblesmith (@kibblesmith) November 15, 2020
13. This is blasphemy at the highest level.
Now you’re in trouble…
Our father, who art in heaven, baja be thy blast
— Kyle ? (@KylePlantEmoji) January 7, 2021
How about you?
Have you seen any tweets lately that really made you laugh?
Please share them with us in the comments, friends!