As a child, I once asked Dave Thomas (founder of Wendy’s) to hold a piece of ribbon while he talked to someone else and then proceeded to run in circles around him until he was tied up https://t.co/YHmv8Hx5uG

— Danny Gay-da-Lore-ian (@weredawgz) January 5, 2020

Before my now-fiancé and I’s first ever date, we realized while apart that we were both listening to Somebody to Love by Queen at the same time. The next day, on our first real date, we accidentally walked in on an entire orchestra playing Somebody to Love. https://t.co/pMo8h2Ysh5

— swaggy p (@paige_vermeer) January 8, 2020

I got a cancer so rare that you literally have only a one in a million chance of getting it.

My husband and I won the lottery three months later. https://t.co/voxawP7UEb

— Punky Mantilla (@PunkyMantilla) January 7, 2020

On my 3rd day in New York… the two towers fell.
On the 3rd day after visiting New Orleans… Katrina came.
On the 3rd day after leaving Nepal… the hotel was bombed by rebels.

— Jessica Chavez (@HProtagonista) January 4, 2020

My girlfriend years ago wrote a quick thank you in a $10 bill for tip and months later that same bill ended up in my hands as change. I still have that bill because of the coincidence.

— Harry Balczak (@lookmahvelous2) January 7, 2020

when I was 3 I went into my parents’ room in the middle of the night & told them my grandpa was in my room, they assumed I had a nightmare & let me sleep with them, we got the call a couple hours later that he was dead https://t.co/JV7HM1ONAJ

— cc (@cc_fla) January 7, 2020

My high school had to evacuate because of a bomb threat written on a bathroom wall. Turns out it was written by our school’s security guard, whose handwriting incriminated him when his write up of the incident was compared to the threat itself. #LivinLikeLarry https://t.co/muqrMZBtKt

— ?????? (@haley4406) January 8, 2020

I used to work at a bar when I was 18 & got fired at 20 for underage drinking. I went back to visit the staff 3 months later & Britney Spears pulled up weeks after she shaved her head. We had a cigarette in the private patio while she caressed my hair. I couldn’t make this up. https://t.co/qHb4LsUy6m

— Ourfa Zinali (@ourfazinali) January 8, 2020

My middle name is literally a fucking typo. My mom had a c section and forgot to write the rest of Nicole due to the drugs, she fell asleep and they took the paperwork, wouldn’t give it back and now my middle name is Ni https://t.co/SYbP92eN9r

— ✨lil L on the beat✨ (@teriyakiJUULpod) January 8, 2020

I don’t tell this story because everyone thinks it’s a lie anyway but I once tweeted about getting drunk in fancy clothes, a random guy saw it, and he invited me to Kanye West’s party that night, where I met a man who gave me seats to Rihanna’s first PUMAxFenty show the next day. https://t.co/AmfpVwpwyI

— Sarah McGonagall (@gothspiderbitch) January 8, 2020

Once accidentally kidnapped a drunk man who was trying to get into his own home. Saw him slumped by the road, coaxed him into the cab to ‘take him home safely’ and ignored his slurry protests. Some 30 mins of confusing directions later and we… end up at exactly the same place. https://t.co/cwj43Fig8g

— Sara Spary (@saramayspary) January 7, 2020

Moved into what we believed was a three bedroom apartment. Discovered a fourth, hidden bedroom—still furnished and filled with the clothes, records, and diaries of a hip art student who had lived there 15 years ago. https://t.co/DbchiUdEey

— Ignatiy Vishnevetsky (@vishnevetsky) January 7, 2020

I got hit by a cop on Friday the 13th when I was in the 7th grade. Broke my arm. Worked out well – same cop pulled me over a couple times in high school. He’d see me and say “oh, it’s you,” then let me go.

— ?????? (@glyphwizard) January 7, 2020