This Is What One Million Gets You In L.A.

Move to sunny Los Angeles! I’ve lived here for almost a decade now, and I can say from personal experience that it’s a great city to start a career and a family and a whole new life for yourself!

Sorry, I should have said, “It’s a great city…if you have enough money that you can swim in it, Scrooge McDuck style. Los Angeles is routinely ranked within the top 10 most expensive cities to live in. If you want to rent, the average apartment costs $1,716 a month. If you want to own a home, the median price is $541,200. Both of those numbers are among the highest nationwide. And anecdotally, I can tell you that home prices keep going up, while the homes themselves keep getting smaller and smaller. It’s a rough market no matter what sort of place you live in.

But one house was recently posted on the real-estate website Trulia at a price that’s outrageous even for pricey Los Angeles. It’s got 1,538 sq. feet, two-bedrooms, one bathroom, and it can be yours for the low, low price of…$975,000.

Check out the pleasure palace that is 1126 S. Ridgeley Drive.

Just think! If you move to Los Angeles with a median income job, ($55,909 in L.A. county), you own this sweet chalet by the time you’re 734 years old!

But that’s just the exterior. Let’s take a tour around your own private Xanadu. It has every amenity you could imagine, like this elegant dining room, full of atmosphere and paint chips.

It has a cozy living room with plenty of exposed wiring for the kids to play with!

Check out the kitchen, which was recently featured in Better Homes & Meth Labs.

Here’s one of the bedrooms, where you can kick back and dream about all the tetanus shots you will definitely be getting.

Here’s the one bathroom. It’s also where the ghost of an evil clown lives!

And the master bedroom: perfect for hosting your weekly fight club.

Another view of the master bedroom, with the sort of ambience that says “bombed out village from World War II.”

Here’s another room in the house. Unfortunately it’s already occupied by a family of possums. Please don’t disturb them.

And here’s the room where Brie Larson and her son were kept in Room.

But that’s not all! It’s also got a two-car outdoor garage that’s definitely NOT on the verge of collapse, especially not during one of LA’s weekly earthquakes.

And finally, for you green thumbs out there, it might not have a garden, but it does have an actual jungle. (Note: your lawn jungle will need to be flamethrowered weekly or the HOA will be very upset.)

So, when are you moving in? We’re gonna be neighbors!

 

 

h/t: Trulia

Follow @itsjimrowley