You can always count on the fairer sex being totally hilarious on Twitter.
It’s just one of those things that you can rely on like clockwork.
So let’s quit talking about how funny these women are and actually enjoy their humor.
1. That is a miracle.
I just grabbed the right Tupperware lid on the first try so I guess now I’m in the business of making miracles happen.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) February 18, 2020
2. It would probably be a hit.
billie eilish, carly rae jepsen, and miley cyrus should form a pop group called billie rae cyrus
— _________ (@RileyRedRose) February 16, 2020
3. You do you.
Due to enormous personal flaws I refuse to work on, I will be arriving 20 minutes late with iced coffee, please respect that
— 1984’s George Whorewell (@EwdatsGROSS) February 17, 2020
4. Going into panic mode.
whenever someone calls me in the middle of texting with them, it's like WAIT BUT MY VOICE'S PANTS AREN'T ON
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) February 16, 2020
5. I do the same thing.
Every time I go into the freezer I ritualistically sacrifice at least one piece of ice to the kitchen floor gods.
— Aunt Chelle ? ☕️ (@ravenswng_) February 20, 2020
6. Is that too much to ask for?
All I want for my birthday is for a wealthy benefactor to bequeath me a sprawling Victorian mansion with a dark and terrible secret
— j̴̢͘҉i̸̢͞z̛̛̀҉͞z̡͞w̶̵̢͜͞i̡͘t̸͝͝c̸͝h̀͏ (@fingerbIaster) February 19, 2020
7. You missed your window.
so funny when people call u back. i was calling u earlier, not now. bye.
— corie johnson (@corietjohnson) February 20, 2020
8. Can’t handle this right now.
Just spent 27 minutes staring at my closet as if I wasn’t about to just put black leggings on.
— Molly England (@bluebonetbabies) February 19, 2020
9. That was always traumatic.
I miss when I was a kid and my biggest problem was that a rapper didn’t mention my city when he rattled of a verse naming various cities he liked partying in.
— quibi brunson (@quintabrunson) February 18, 2020
10. We’re talking about a BIG bag.
Give me a purse so enormous that I can rummage for something, sigh, and climb inside the bag, and then you hear a ding and elevator doors opening.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) February 20, 2020
11. Oh, there he is.
Made the bed, kept cleaning the apartment, realized I hadn’t seen the cat for a little bit and found him like this pic.twitter.com/ohB7CkmYcM
— Dani Balenson (@dlbee_) February 16, 2020
12. “Looking for someone spontaneous.”
Men on dating apps are always like “looking for an adventure buddy” and I’m like ugh learn to make friends, don’t make this my problem
— Shalyah Evans (@ShalyahEvans) February 16, 2020
13. That means you’re getting old.
Just heard that “you had a bad day” song play on the radio, on the oldies station, which was upsetting for multiple reasons
— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) February 20, 2020
The ladies of Twitter never let us down in the humor department!
Who are some of the funniest women you follow on Twitter?
Tell us about them in the comments!