These tweets have two things in common: they’re all hilarious, and they were all written by women. Funny women, obviously.
Enjoy these won’t you?
crazy how many people think a joke is "something i said but didn't mean" and not "something funny"
— luisa díez (@luisadieznuts) May 28, 2019
2. I concur
The people who do yoga in the airport, wtf is wrong with y’all??
— Reeezy (@MsReeezy) May 29, 2019
3. Not too bright
Quick reminder that a dude on #TheBachelorette thought a woman’s gestation period was 2 weeks & another dude thought women GREW ovaries DURING pregnancy. Anyway, let’s keep letting men make decisions about abortion! It just makes sense!
— Kimberly Dinaro (@KimberDin) May 28, 2019
Incels act like women don't date men who are worse looking than them leading me to believe they have literally never seen a heterosexual couple
— Julia Claire (@ohJuliatweets) May 28, 2019
5. Not a good sign
You can tell the heads of Disney believe we've got 12 years before the global climate wars by the rate they're releasing their live-action remakes
— think progresso, the soup that busts unions (@rajandelman) May 30, 2019
6. None of that, please
I could never date a conspiracy theorist. There’s no way they’re supportive partners. If you can’t believe in the moon landing how are you going to believe in me??
— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) May 26, 2019
7. Totally classist
my least popular opinion is that mayo is actually great and everyone loves aioli and that is fucking mayo and your hatred of mayo is actually classist thank you
— Lillian DeVane (@lilliandevane) May 25, 2019
tara reid wore a fur coat and a leather dress to the opening of a vegan taco place. a legend. pic.twitter.com/pZwemYZtjV
— internet baby (@kirkpate) May 24, 2019
9. It’s long gone
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) May 30, 2019
10. Good work
I’m so proud that the only blonde man I’ve had sex with was a Lumineer.
— Molly Two Last Names (@mollyrubenlong) May 27, 2019
11. First of all…
Anytime I watch AOC go back and forth with someone who disagrees with her I am reminded why I never got into politics. I could never be as poised and diplomatic as her cause if it was me I'd begin every retort with FIRST OF ALL BITCH –
— Marcella Arguello (@marcellacomedy) May 29, 2019
12. You can settle down now
yo I been sad all day cuz I saw a shirt I was watching got sold, but I just checked my history and my high ass bought it
— jes tom ?✨ (@jestom) May 28, 2019
13. He did what he had to do
in 2014 I was a server in the west village I waited on Leo DiCaprio he was with a young woman moddle he wore his sunglasses the whole time & they made out instead of eating their food he tipped like 50% I still think about how he didn’t take his sunglasses off to makeout
— bez (@Bez) May 24, 2019
I can hear @AndyBeckerman on the phone referring to the cat tree as a 'cat condo', like they fancy rent-paying tenants. We both know they just use it when they want to lick their buttholes on higher ground.
— Naomi Ekperigin (@Blacktress) May 24, 2019
15. Million dollar idea
I can’t believe they offer exorcisms for demons and not for crushes.
— Eliza Skinner (@elizaskinner) May 31, 2019
Keep ’em coming, ladies!