These days, the idea of a grown man wearing short-shorts is hilarious–the whole character of Lieutenant Dangle on Reno 911 was based on this comedic principle. But there was a time when wearing short shorts was not just the norm, it was considered cool. Just compare basketball players now with basketball players from the 70’s:
Photo Credit: Smithsonian
On the left, LeBron James. On the right, a guy who’s OK with people seeing his balls every time he jumps.
Today we’re taking a look at the shortest of short shorts, aka a 1970’s fashion trend that, as a man, I hope never makes a comeback.
1.
Photo Credit: Sad And Useless
Those jorts come in three sizes: “relaxed fit,” “slim fit,” and “low sperm count.”
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HER: Sorry, hon. I thought I was hitting the birdie.
HIM: JUST GET ME SOME ICE!!!
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Honestly, it’s not that impressive to call yourself a “streaker” when you’re already 3/4ths of the way there.
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It’s gotta be tough fighting crime when everyone assumes you’re a Stripper Cop.
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Male camel toe is real, and it’s a serious affliction. #solidarity
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After they all sat on that van’s leather seats, it became known as The Summer of Skin Grafts.
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Johnny Appleseed’s lesser-known cousin, Peter Plum Smuggler.
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How can you smile when your shorts and your junk are having a fight to the death?
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Pictured: three friends enjoying the view from atop Mount Moose Knuckle.
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You gotta do what you gotta do. Even if that means putting talcum powder on your inner thighs.
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No, the “unsung hero” is the pair of Jockey shorts just baaaaaarely keeping him from popping out.
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Just wear a Speedo, guy on the left. You obviously want to.
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Magnum P.I., hard at work trying to solve “The Case Of Why Does Everyone Laugh When I Sit Down?”
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“Hmmm, how do I make shorts-shorts even more humiliating? I could add a gold belt! And sandals that go all the way up my calves. And a weird hat. Dear god, I’m out of control! Somebody stop me!”
15.
Photo Credit: Sad And Useless
And finally, a photo I call “Lifeguard! Help! Um…on second thought, I’m good.”
h/t: Sad And Useless