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21 People Share Something They Learned at an Embarrassingly Late Age

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Is there something that you just learned that most people already know?

Like where pickles come from, or where they get those actors for the Amish Villages?

That’s what this AskReddit list was all about.

Here are 25 of the best ones:

#1. That piggy isn’t coming home.

That the little piggy who went to market wasn’t going shopping for groceries. Last year it hit me. I’m 28.

#2. But lightning is still cool.

I just learned a few months ago that lightning does not happen when two clouds touch each other. That was a very sad, and very disappointing day.

Photo Credit: Pixabay/CC0

#3. They’re not actors?!

I thought the Amish were like an old-timey group of actors who were just really into it until I was about 18.

I revealed that, and was promptly made fun of, because they, in fact, are a functioning society who actually live that way, not actors.

#4. “How did they pass me?”

When I was a toddler I had older kid neighbors. Once they ‘raced’ me around the block and let me get a huuuuge head start.

Basically, they never even ran. They tricked me into running around the block by myself. I was beyond shocked when they “beat” me!

I swear it took me until I was in my late teens to solve that mystery. And I’d been telling that story for years ‘How did those kids beat me?’

Uhhhhh…

#5. The Magic Goldfish

I re-named a goldfish ‘Rainbow’ when I was 7, because it kept changing color every few months. I told friends about this fish for years like it was some mystical kaleidoscope fish.

It hit me in the face a couple months ago that the fish wasn’t changing color…

My parents were just replacing it when it died without telling me.

#6. Who needs toes, anyhow?

When I was a young kid I thought attractive people and celebrities didn’t have toes. I thought their feet were perfect like the feet of a Barbie.

I wanted to be famous so I could have feet like a Barbie. I thought toes were gross.

#7. A college senior?!

Chocolate milk doesn’t come from chocolate cows. I thought there were chocolate cows until I was a college senior.

#8. “Some sucker is late for class.”

Just talked to a coworker the other day who didn’t know his name was Jason until 3rd grade. His initials were JT and his family called him by that and so he thought that was his name.

During roll call in class the teacher was asking for a “Jason” and he just sat there thinking, “Some sucker is late for class”.

Then, the name JT was never called, and confusion ensued.

#9. Wait till you find out the truth about angel food cake…

There actually ARE carrots in carrot cake. I assumed it was a joke because it’s orange and we were all in on it.

#10. “You might be a redneck…”

I learned that I grew up in a white-trashy family around 10 through television.

One night, I was watching TV and Jeff Foxworthy came on. I was a very content only child who to the best of my knowledge got everything they ever wanted and had no idea about whether things could/needed to be otherwise.

Well, ole Jeff was well into his skit and I was avidly listening. ‘If you watch TV on a TV that sits on top of a broken TV, you might be a redneck.’ Wait, what? I’m watching TV sitting on top of a broken TV.

‘If you have a broken down car sitting in your front yard that hasn’t been moved in years, you might be a redneck.’

We have 5 of those. WTH? This isn’t normal?

‘If you have appliances in your yard…If you’ve got shacks in your yard…If you live in a trailer next to a house…If…Etc…You might be a redneck.’

I looked around and painfully realized that I was living all of those things.

So, that was the day I found out I was a redneck.

#11. The Royal Marine Biologist

Until the age of 14, I thought Princess Diana was a famous marine biologist.

They always called her “The Princess of WALES” so…

#12. “Thanks Reddit.”

It’s ‘For all intents and purposes.’

Not ‘For all intensive purposes.’

Learned at age 30.

Thanks Reddit.

#13. The truth about cats…

I thought cats were a breed of dog until I was about 15.

#14. That Mike Myers is so versatile.

I didn’t realize that Mike Myers plays both Austin Powers and Dr Evil till the third Austin Powers movie came out.

#15. Toilet Treats

I was 23 on a trip with my girlfriend in San Francisco. We were both getting ready for the day in the bathroom and I needed my hair gel, so I asked if she could hand me my toilet treat bag.

She seemed confused, I again asked, ‘Can you please hand me my bag of toilet treats!?’

She ran out of the bathroom laughing.

#16. Where pickles come from

Pickles come from cucumbers.

#17. Late teens?!

I always bragged that I beat my dad at basketball when I was 4 or 5.

It never occurred to me that he let me win until I was in my late teens.

#18. Stop murdering all those artichokes!

My dad would tell me bullshit things to mess with me as a kid. Usually he would remember eventually to correct it. Sometimes, however, he forgot.

I went through the first 17 years of my life thinking an artichoke was a nocturnal rodent. Went to an Italian restaurant and was horrified to see artichoke hearts on the menu.

#19. They’re foals! Foals, I tell you!

I only learned this year that ponies aren’t just baby horses.

#20. “It just sounded like it was about the Holocaust…”

Freshman year. I had never been told what 50 Shades of Grey was about, so I assumed it was about the Holocaust.

It just sounded like it was about the Holocaust to me; don’t really know why.

#21. The beat goes on

I was 34 before I realized that The Beatles spell their name “Beatles,” because it has the word “Beat” in it.

I never really considered it before, just kind of thought it was a funny way to spell “beetles”…

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