Oh, boy, this is gonna be fun!
I love stories about dates that go totally sideways…as long as they’re not happening to me, of course.
Is that selfish of me? Ahhhh, who cares! I want to laugh, gosh darnit!
So what do you say we dig into some dating horror stories from folks on Twitter? Does that sound good to you?
Let’s get it started!
1. Not into utensils.
I respect that!
On a blind date, the girl orders Caesar salad and eats it with her hands! Tells me she’s “not big into utensils”. After eating she asks me if I’ve accepted Jesus Christ as my lord and savior and invites me to confession.
— Rich (@crackUup) January 19, 2020
2. Just like my sister.
That’s not good.
once on a first date w a guy, he kissed me & right after said, “this isn’t going to work out. you remind me too much of my sister.” …he had just told me his sister was severely mentally-ill and believed she was jesus. https://t.co/aWTSlLx4YF
— Eva McKenna (@possiblyawitch) January 21, 2020
3. What a night!
I’m surprised this didn’t work out.
i was on my way home from school and this guy was on my bus and we stopped so he could buy me some beer for the weekend but then he couldn’t buy me beer?? but we went back to his place and smoked and made cheese toasties and i rapped for him??? and then his girlfriend showed up. https://t.co/7cUCpLp1hg
— kerry (@folerdetdufoler) January 20, 2020
4. Oh, no!
Poor guy…now the whole world knows.
I drove an hour to hang out with a boy and while we were watching a movie I put my hand on his thigh and he instantly came in his pants🥴🙃
— Callie Yeager (@yeager_callie) January 19, 2020
5. OH MY GOD.
This is really something.
When I was a wee emo this guy asked me out – I didn’t hear from him on the day till he texted me saying sorry & that his bat had died😪 so I got him a condolence card & a present and took it to the date like I’m so sorry about ur pet bat & he was like no I meant my phone battery https://t.co/pur9ENV6SE
— holly✨ (@hollyshortall) January 19, 2020
6. Butter Boy.
He was a real catch.
YALL. I met up with this guy and first off he came smelling like dirty laundry. We’re talking and he pulls a STICK OF BUTTER out of his pocket and starts eating it like CHEESE. He’s like “oh yeah my friends call me butter boy I hope you don’t think I’m weird.” um YES YOU ARE. https://t.co/Kkey9wci5I
— Delia (@deliasalcido) January 19, 2020
7. Well at least you had a good night.
Still very strange, though…
was going out for drinks with this tinder boy turns out he was a 46 year old indian woman called Amita. ended up having the best time of our lives. went to the dancing and got invited to her home the following day for curry made by her husband https://t.co/l1lDXLf7zE
— bonnie (@whoatethepony) January 19, 2020
8. Oh…a blind date…
Now I get it…
this guy from tinder asked if i wanted to go on a blind date with him and i said yes even though i wasn’t sure how it was going to work considering we’ve seen each others profile? anyway he waited for me at the restaurant. long story short it turned out he was actually blind. https://t.co/2fCqVVkuAZ
— Gastronomy Doll ✨ (@sihamese) January 19, 2020
9. Are you a dentist?
Keep your hands out of my mouth, please.
He kissed me and pulled back and said ‘wait there’s just a little…’ I was embarrassed I thought I had something in my teeth he put his hand in my mouth and said I think this tooth is wobbly, I was 19 with all my adult teeth
— not made of eyes (@dadfancier) January 19, 2020
10. Hop on in!
This sounds kind of fun!
One time I got set up with a guy through a mutual friend. Before he came to pick me up he said “do you mind if we take my motor cycle?” I was like “sure” so I wore a leather jacket and got all sexy n shit. This boy shows up on a single seat bike and I had to ride in the SIDECAR
— ⚔️плохая сука ⚔️ (@dyslexXtHiCc) January 19, 2020
11. Don’t go in there.
Forgot about that…
I went over to this guys house for dinner and drinks and he was a bit off. So I went to the bathroom and he has a DILDO in his tub and he came running in and was like WAiiT and I’m standing there looking at it… i gave him a courtesy 20 minutes then left pic.twitter.com/Kfy2a7FlXw
— TИМА (@moonresidue) January 19, 2020
12. The sensitive type.
Who doesn’t get emotional to Poison?
The last time I talked to a guy before I officially came out as a lesbian, I went over to his house for the first time and he turned on his speakers and cried to “every rose has a thorn” and then “eye of the tiger” followed by “thriller”
— 𝚕𝚒𝚣𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚕𝚒𝚣 𓆈 (@_lizzyhamilton) January 19, 2020
13. Not again!
The nerve on this guy!
guy brought me to his therapist (I thought we were gonna do errands). When his therapist greeted us in the waiting room, she looked frustrated and told him she “was not going to do this with him again”.
I never got any more answers on any part of that. https://t.co/eq6lCqwprT
— zoë “leonardo doujinshi” quinn (@UnburntWitch) January 20, 2020
Now it’s YOUR turn.
What’s the weirdest date you’ve ever been on?
Talk to us in the comments. We love this stuff!