Listen, I’m gonna tell you a cold, hard fact of life that we all learn at one point or another…
We have no control over what people are going to name us in their phones. NONE. ZILCH. ZERO. NADA.
I learned this the hard way a while ago when I found out that one of my friends had me in their phone as…wait for it…DUMMY.
That’s right, DUMMY. How do you think that made me feel?
Actually, I probably deserved it, but still, it hurt my feelings and I cried for a while.
Okay, let’s move on!
Here are some funny tweets people shared about how we just can’t control what other folks are gonna call us.
1. You weren’t supposed to see that.
Uh oh!
Needless to say we are getting a divorce ? pic.twitter.com/U6AbwxgaWn
— Valentina Veliz (@lighteyedlatina) February 2, 2021
2. You can’t change that one.
Marked for life!
Reminds me when my sister borrowed my phone a for a second a few years and changed her contact name. It’s still the same since then. pic.twitter.com/AmFwGuY40I
— Croix Crenshaw (@CroixCrenshaw) February 1, 2021
3. You are the Mothership.
Makes sense.
My kid had me as Mothership!?
— APRIL Inc. BLM! (@GrayFinnch) January 31, 2021
4. We get it.
And you are a real gentleman.
I’ve actually had my wife in my phone as Rhinoceros Anus Escapee since forever lol. We saw ace ventura 2 on our first date and… we’ll I’m sure you get it
— nick toerner (@toerner_nick) January 31, 2021
5. I like this one.
Keepin’ it hot!
Ever since a drunk morning in an airport Mexican restaurant my bf of 14 years has been in my phone as Cholula Hotsauce. Then he became an associate professor. Now he is in as Ass Prof Cholula Hotsauce. God help me if I am ever in an accident and they look up my contacts
— Squishmuffin:what is grief if not love persevering (@Sitdownaj) February 1, 2021
6. Street cred.
Boom, shake the room!
My wife and I gave each other ‘rapper’ names in our phones early in our relationship… to this day I am “D-Money” and she is “$tephy $teph” ?
— Derek Kester (@derekester) January 31, 2021
7. You have good neighbors.
They’re hard to find!
When we moved into our current home, neighbours across the street who seemed really cool (Jay & Claire) invited us over for wine.
After a few glasses we all agreed to share contact info. I handed my phone over, & later burst out laughing to see how she’d listed herself: pic.twitter.com/YZEI8uj3FH
— Drew Gourdie (@drewbie_g) January 31, 2021
8. Survival tips.
Well, this is practical.
When my bf and I met and exchanged numbers it was bc we’d both had terrible surgeries and wanted to share survival tips so he was in my phone as “Paul L pain” (since updated) and I’m in his as “Eva pain management” which he says still applies
— Eva Hagberg (@evahagberg) January 30, 2021
9. Mom and wife.
These are both good.
My mum is in my phone as “mum ??” and when I ask Siri to call her from car, he says “calling mum old woman” and it makes me laugh every time.
Wife is still in my phone under her maiden name. Can’t bear to change it. An ode to her youth.
— David James Lister (@MlSTERLlSTER) January 31, 2021
10. I’m sure he appreciates that.
It’s about time!
Full name for my husband, which I finally changed from “OK Cupid Guy #3” after five years of marriage.
— Allison K Williams (@GuerillaMemoir) January 30, 2021
Do you have any funny alternate names for friends and family members in your phone?
If so, share them with us in the comments.
We can’t wait to hear from you!