There are places like Reddit where people are used to giving some pretty amazing and honest answers to random questions, but when lovelyjessij asked Twitter users to share their deep, dark, family secrets, people really jumped on the thread.

And when I say jumped, I mean in an all-out, honest, really disturbing way.

I can’t wait until some movie or television producer finds this thread and starts making offers because, dang, I need more details than 140 characters (or however many we get now) can provide.

Since she knew most people would be more apt to share anonymously, she encouraged DMs (private messages), which is where the responses came from.

#12. When literally no one cares.

#11. There has never been a more appropriate use of the vomit emoji.

#10. This was common back in the day, or so I understand. Still…

#9. Detestable.

#8. While Grandpa was away…

#7. It can be hard to learn where you come from.

#6. Wow.

#5. When you find out your parents had rules for a horrible reason.

#4. Family kidnapping?

#3. I mean, not illegal but still totally weird.

#2. Freaking yikes.

#1. I wonder what he did though…