Judging by these tweets you’re about to read, life is a lot like Seinfeld.
And by that, I mean that people are super petty…and also kind of hilarious. That’s especially true when it comes to relationships.
If you’ve ever dated or been married to someone for a significant amount of time, you know that the little things really start to add up and get on your nerves…sometimes to the point of no return.
That’s when it’s time to drop the hammer and get rid of that person…which is never easy.
But, luckily for us, these are about OTHER PEOPLE getting dumped for petty reasons, so we can all laugh and enjoy them!
Let’s go!
1. I’m with you, brother.
That is unacceptable.
What's the pettiest reason you broke up with someone?
I broke up with a lassie once cause she microwaved bacon— joe heenan (@joeheenan) August 18, 2020
2. Oh…one of those people.
They’re always kind of weird.
Best one I ever heard was a woman who broke up with her boyfriend cos he clapped when the plane landed ?
— Lisa P (@evanslis456) August 18, 2020
3. Gross out time.
Get rid of him!
I broke up with someone because everytime he orgasmed he farted. Truth.
— Nope (@FebruaryStar22) August 18, 2020
4. No gingers need apply.
That’s a little crazy.
I got dumped for having red hair. My boyfriends Mum didn’t want to risk having ginger grandchildren, so she made him dump me. He married a blonde and had two ginger kids..Karma. My Kids are blonde.
— Bingbong (@Bingbon02415540) August 18, 2020
5. That’s lovely.
I can see how that would get annoying. And creepy.
I’ll do a different one here to the one I gave on Facebook ?
He kept saying “that’s lovely” during sex ???
— Linda Ní hEdeáin ?? (@LindaOkaythen) August 18, 2020
6. Oh, boy…
Sounds like a real gem.
We’d been on a few dates and went back to his after going out for dinner. He put Les Mis on and sang every word of Look Down at me really loudly, then after, led me upstairs, laid down on the bed, put his hands behind his head and told me to “hop on”. Fucking public schoolboys.
— Missy (@MissyAero) August 18, 2020
7. That’s enough!
Time to leave the premises.
An ex once said to me “you make me quiver” it still makes me shudder and ? that was it for me
— jo kilkenny (@jokilkenny) August 18, 2020
8. An ambush.
The worst kind of ambush…
She insisted on having a chat with me whilst taking a shit. With the door open. Like, she would actively try to engage me in conversation THEN open the door, like some kind of poop chat ambush https://t.co/SJp27KenEA
— Disappointed Optimist (@disappoptimism) August 18, 2020
9. Not gonna work.
Never a good idea.
We shared a birthday. No room for that kind of nonsense in my life. It’s my birthday. Not his.
— MsSGC (@ms_sgc) August 18, 2020
10. Way too much.
This is totally understandable.
My friend once gave someone the elbow after seeing them spread too much butter on their toast.
— Stevie Glover (@BeckydeWinter) August 18, 2020
11. Thank you, but we’re done.
Don’t call me!
A girl invited me over once, and when I arrived she said “hope you’re ready to get steamy”.
I thanked her for the tea she’d given me (in a floral granny cup, no less) and left.
We were both in our early 20s.
— Mark Butterworth (@butterworthm89) August 18, 2020
12. Not a fan of your voice.
And with that, it’s over!
Woke up one morning and realised I didn’t want to go up to visit him any more cos I realised I didn’t like his voice lmao https://t.co/CeVDqjPQmH
— i hate the coron-Ewa-rus (@EwaSR) August 18, 2020
13. What a weirdo.
That’s not gonna work, sorry.
Said my tattoos were shit and unjokingly said I should run it past him the next time I wanted one doing. https://t.co/nCgglXuBC5
— Bister Mungle (@TheAmyHorror) August 18, 2020
Okay, now it’s your turn!
In the comments, give us all the dirt on your breakups from the past.
The good. The bad. The ugly. The unbelievable.
We want all of it! Please and thank you!