Oh, boy…here we go…
From the reports I’m hearing from various friends of mine, I’ve learned two things lately…
One: every single person with kids is about to lose their shit because we’ve all been trapped together with our families for months now.
Two: moms and dads really haven’t been able to have ANY alone time at all. And I’m not even talking about with each other, I’m talking about people spending time on their own, alone, enjoying a few moments of peace.
But, by the sounds of it, they definitely need it now more than ever.
Let’s check out these tweets from parents who could really use a little time by themselves.
1. That oughta keep ’em occupied.
At least for a little bit, right?
Whenever I want quiet time, I ask my kid how to Minecraft a Pikachu in Roblox.
— Marl (@Marlebean) May 26, 2020
2. That’s a wild joke that will never happen.
Trust me on this one.
3yo: tell me a joke dad.
Me: okay here’s one…tomorrow you’re going to give me some time to be alone.
3yo: no make it funnier.
Me: okay you’re also going to let me sleep in.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) April 18, 2020
3. Problem solved.
You got nothing to worry about!
Me: I hate silence because I can’t be alone with my thoughts
Quarantine with kids: I gotchu
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) April 25, 2020
4. Not a good idea.
Next time, consider your options.
I told my kid he could play a video game so I could have a moment to sit in silence.
Now all I’m getting is “mom watch this!” and I did not think this through.
— Life at Tiffany’s (@lifeattiffanys) March 18, 2020
5. This sounds like paradise.
Am I dreaming?
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: I will close the kids outside while you nap.
ACTS OF SERVICE: *closes kids outside while you nap*
TOUCH: *high fives you before closing the kids outside*
GIFTS: Gives you waffles and a mimosa
QUALITY TIME: Time alone to enjoy your drink and your waffles
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) May 5, 2020
6. Yes, you must leave.
And take your time!
9-year-old: What should we get Mom for Mother's Day?
Me: A little peace and quiet.
9: So we have to leave the house?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 9, 2020
7. LEAVE ME ALONE.
At least for a little while.
My husband doesn’t understand why I need so much alone time and I’m like I LITERALLY GREW THREE HUMANS AND THEN FED THEM FROM MY BODY FOR OVER A YEAR EACH I HAVEN’T BEEN ALONE IN ALMOST A DECADE
— Vision Bored (@VisionBored1) May 8, 2020
8. It doesn’t exist anymore.
But you can hope for the future…
I DRASTICALLY overestimated the amount of alone time my wife and I would have with my kids home 24/7
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) March 19, 2020
9. That is a good plan.
And you’re damn right! It sounds glorious!
I just made kids run up and down our block 10 times ( don’t worry no one else was out) *because physical education is important.
*because they shut up for the duration of the running, it was glorious!
— Heather #BLM (@dishs_up) March 16, 2020
10. Too late for that.
Any other ideas?
Me: what do you want for mother's day?
Wife: just some peace and quiet
Me: aww well *grabs her hand lovingly* then we shouldn't have had that kid
— The Dad (@thedad) May 7, 2020
11. Now we’re getting somewhere.
Don’t blow this opportunity.
7 got mad at me and didn't talk to me for a while hour.
How do I make all 3 of them mad at me so I get a good solid hours peace?
Wrong answers only.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) May 23, 2020
12. We all knew it wasn’t going to happen.
But we can all wish…
I told my kids to be good and not fight for 20 minutes so I could take a shower in peace, and then we all laughed and laughed.
— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) March 20, 2020
Parents, we sincerely hope that you get some much-deserved alone time very soon.
But before that happens, tell us how it’s going in your household right now. Are you losing your mind? Barely holding on?
Are the kids behaving or are they climbing the walls?
Tell us everything in the comments!
We look forward to hearing from you!